When was your first time?

By jas212@cam.ac.uk August 2005

comments: When was the first time? He asked, with a look of cold interest between his eyes "When I was sixteen, I used to go to a pub on the edge of town. We all went there because it was the only place that would sell alcohol to kids. It was a packed Friday night, and somehow I ended up at a table with some guy-he was a friend’s brother’s friend or something-who kept buying me drinks. He kept casting me sly glances, and I did the same, since I was curious. For a moment we were alone at the table together, and he quickly leant over, looking me straight in the eye and said -I’ll give you twenty quid if you suck my cock.

I looked back at him for a second, then gazed at the floor. After a few moments had passed he asked -so?

I hadn’t been thinking about it. I was quite drunk and very tired. Twenty pounds wasn’t that much. I’d never sucked anyone’s cock before, although I’d enjoyed masturbating a school friend. I nodded and got up to leave. I went for the nearest door, almost trying to outrun him. The air outside was cold and I realised how much I must have been flushing inside. There were reflections of orange light from nowhere in particular, bouncing off the windows and the wet pavements. My breath made huge clouds of steam in front of me, and I followed them upwards with my eyes as they thinned-out and then disappeared into the dark air. I could hear him behind me, his footsteps louder than mine, always getting closer. I came to a bridge and looked into the water - broken lines of silver light, and orange shapes constantly shifting. When I crossed the stream, the sound of the water gushing came to my ears quickly and shocked me a little. I turned left, down a path that was barely noticeable. He seemed to know where I was going, but come quickly up to me and placed his hand on the small of my back. I resented him touching me there, but I thought it was impolite to mention it.

Half way down the path we came to a stop. Without warning he cupped his hands around my face, and starting kissing me. His lips and tongue were insistent, and I let my mouth open for him whenever I felt his tongue pushing against my lips. His face was rough and stank of alcohol. Through his nose came moist hot air that made the area around my mouth wet. Suddenly he pushed me away and started to undo his belt. The buckle made a quick, loud tapping sound with bounced off the dark trees along the path as he let his jeans fall to his knees.

-Did you like him? He asked, frowning a little at the corner of his mouth, revealing a single dimple.

I don’t know. I didn’t think about that then.