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by JD Davis November 2004

December 23rd

He was at the club again today. Iíd just finished my workout and was heading for the showers when he arrived. He threw his sports bag on the bench as I opened my locker and changed quickly while I stripped off, trying to pretend I wasnít interested. He nodded as he passed me on the way out to the gym and I couldnít even nod in return. My throat was dry, closing on even a simple hello. God, but heís beautiful! Hit the showers almost at a run, hiding under the spray, my mind full of the broad, tanned back I glimpsed, the muscular legs. I was hard and would have sought relief there and then but someone else came in and I hit the cold water fast. Took a while, but finally regained control. I know nothing about him, except I want him in the worst way.

One more day at the office and then the holidays Ė I hate this time of year!

He was at the club again today. He seems to spend most evenings there and doesnít seem to have any kind of social life whatsoever. Heís very shy; he blushes a lot! I know heís been watching me surreptitiously and I have to admit that sideways glance from under the eyelashes is positively devastating. Does he have any idea just how gorgeous he is? I doubt it but oh my, when those baby blues flick my way, I just want to eat him alive! I tried to break the ice a little bit, just a quick nod to let him know Iím aware he exists and he froze. I didnít laugh, although I wanted to, trust me!

December 27th

The club was quiet, not too many people trying to work through their Christmas excesses. Christmas -- just another day for me, as usual. Thought about him while I watched TV, wondering if he was spending the day with his family. Is he married, does he have children? He doesnít wear a ring but that doesnít mean anything. I tried to put him in the scene, pretty wife, couple of kids, presents under the tree, but I could only see him, the glimpses of his body feeding my imagination. And what an imagination I have! The things I do to him . . .

I wonder if he went to the club today. How did he spend Christmas? Does he have any family? Is he taking a vacation? Iím off to Vail soon. Maybe I should fix my interest with him a little more before I go. But heís so shy he might just run! I know what Iíll do, Iíll have a little party New Yearís Eve and see if heíll come to that. He might not run scared if he knows thereíll be other people about. Have to break the ice a bit more before that, though.

December 28th

Oh God, I donít know whether to laugh or cry! He was in the gym when I walked in and asked me to spot weights for him. I was so nervous I almost killed him, dropping the damn weight like that! He took it in good part but I fled the scene in sheer embarrassment! Just abandoned him and ran. Didnít even take a shower, just changed and got the hell out of Dodge. Got some funny looks on the subway, I must have smelled like a skunk! His name is Terry. He introduced himself and was really, really nice to me and I behaved like an absolute idiot. Iím not sure he even heard my name, I stammered so much. How will I ever face him again? Maybe I should change my membership? Oh God, ohgodohgodohgod!

Poor Chris, poor shy, blushing, beautiful boy! Iíve never seen anybody blush all the way down to his toes before! I introduced myself and asked him to spot for me, and what does he do? Stammers and blushes and dropped the damn weight next to my ear! I managed not to laugh but he still ran off like a scared rabbit. Close up he's not as young as I thought he was. He looks about fifteen with that floppy blond hair and blue eyes, but he has to be early or late twenties, hard to tell, and built! He really is beautiful; Michaelangeloís David can just about stand up to him. He keeps himself in terrific shape, not over muscled, long, lean, strong, just how I like Ďem! And I like him, very much.

December 30th

I admit it; Iíve been hiding. Didnít dare go to the club yesterday in case he was there. Two more days and a whole New Year heading my way. I never make resolutions but one seems to be in my head anyway. I resolve to forget all about Terry. I will not fantasize about him. I will not look at him in the locker room. I will not linger hoping to see him. I will not! Okay, so thatís more than one resolution, but itís all one really.

No sign of Chris today. I guess heís still embarrassed although I tried to smooth his ruffled feathers. I hope I havenít frightened him off completely. He is definitely interested and so am I. Not sure if heís very experienced but I have a plan to find out more. Thatís if he ever resurfaces and doesnít run screaming to another club!

December 31st

Iím in a flat spin, staring at my closet. There are clothes everywhere, on the bed, on the floor. What the hell am I going to wear? Miracles do happen even to unbelievers. Terry has asked me to a New Yearís Eve party. He just smiled and said he was having a party and would I like to come? I did my goldfish impression but managed to say yes and he gave me his address. Why is he being nice to me? All he knows is my Christian name. ĎHey Chris,í he said, Ďwould you like to come to a party tonight?í One little sentence that rocked my world. Wow! Now what the hell am I going to wear . . .?

Well, I asked him to the party and he said yes. Thatís about all he said but at least heís coming. Those big blue eyes just got rounder and rounder; he went all pink and bashful. God, is he cute! I donít know how Iíll keep my hands off him tomorrow but I have to behave and not frighten him away!

January 1st

Iím in love, totally smitten, just gone! Terry has this great apartment on W 54th Ė really tasteful, modern, all black and white and steel. It was only a small party, about twenty people, some couples, some single women. Terry tried introducing me to a few but I was my usual tongue-tied, klutzy self and, besides, I didnít want to spend time with them. I just hung around watching him. Heís a great host, no wife or kids, everything was perfect Ė the food, the music Ė I made sure I was next to him when we watched the countdown from Times Square and then it happened. Everyone was shouting Happy New Year and hugging, and Terry turned to me and said quietly, ĎHappy New Year, Chrisí and hugged me. Iíd drunk enough to be a bit less shy than usual, so I hugged him back. Heís taller than I am and Iím sure he pressed his lips to my temple. I know Iím not imagining it. I was floating, grinning like an idiot and he smiled at me. Canít wait to see him at the club tomorrow.

I slipped up. Chris came to the party Ė he would die if he knew I gave it for him Ė and looked spectacular. Cream chinos and a blue shirt that matched his eyes. He couldnít keep away from me, which was very flattering. I donít know what he sees in me but there is definitely an attraction between us, itís not just me. But I let my guard down and kissed him when he wished me Happy New Year. Just a light brush on his hair but he felt it and smiled like an angel. I shouldnít have done it, but he was all lit up like a Christmas tree afterwards, so maybe it wasnít a mistake. Leaving for Vail tomorrow. Damn, I forgot to mention it to him. I hope he doesnít think Iíve abandoned him. Not much I can do about it now.

January 2nd

He didnít come to the club. All the pretty speeches Iíd been practicing were for nothing. I didnít get to see him, not even to say thank you for inviting me to his party. Iím a mess!

January 10th

Terry hasnít been at the club for over a week. My brain keeps telling me heís probably away on vacation or something, but I feel heís avoiding me. Why would he do that? Why, why, why? I will not get upset . . .

January 12th

Iím not sure whatís going on anymore. Terry came into the locker room and waved at me but didnít speak. He had someone with him and they worked out together. The guy was wearing a wedding ring and looked pretty unfit to me. Whatís he doing with Terry? Someone from his office? A relative? I know so little about him; itís driving me crazy.

Well, much as I usually enjoy skiing, I found myself spending most of my time thinking about Chris. I was full of anticipation as I headed to the club, ready to ask him out, find out more about him, and what happens? I met Tony outside and couldnít shake him off. He works in accounting and is a friend of sorts, so I felt obliged to work out with him. Saw Chris and beckoned him over but he just smiled and disappeared. He gave Tony a long look Ė he surely doesnít think Iím with him? He looked rather upset, actually. I am going to have to do something about that.

January 13th

Not my unlucky number! Terry came over to talk to me, asking how Iíd enjoyed the holiday season. He told me heíd been skiing in Colorado. I wanted to ask him about the other guy, but how could I do that? He was so nice to me again, but I always behave like an idiot around him. If Iím not being a goldfish Iím doing my deer in the headlights routine. He suggested we get together Friday night for a drink and I just stared. It doesnít seem to bother him, though; he just laughed and patted me on the shoulder before hitting the showers. Two days to go!

Finally managed to have a conversation with Chris. Or at least I talked and he nodded a lot. He really is very shy and gets terribly tongue-tied. Desperate measures are called for! Heís agreed to have a drink with me on Friday after we work out, but I think Iíll have to take matters into my own hands and get him over this Ďpetrified heís going to say or do something wrongí stage.

January 15th or rather early January 16th

Oh my! Plan A worked like a charm Ė so much so that I went to Plan B and Plan C! I left work early and arrived at the club before Chris. I timed it perfectly so I hit the gym about ten minutes before he arrived. Watched him come in and told him I would wait for him to finish up so we could have that drink together. I finished well before he should have done, but he hit the showers at the same time as I did, so he must have skipped part of his routine.

Plan B just happened. It wasnít really a plan, more a fantasy, but when I saw him in just a towel I really couldnít resist. There were only two other guys working out as we were so early, and I knew they wouldnít be finishing up for a while. It was a bit risky and Chris was obviously terrified someone would walk in on us, but how could I resist. I just got under the shower with him and then, for some unknown reason, I hesitated. I suddenly wasnít sure if he would be okay about it, especially since he hesitated when I asked. I would never force myself on anyone and was about to apologize when he managed a nod and a small smile. So I went for it - I dropped on my knees and swallowed him! There was a brief moment when I thought he wasnít ready for this, but he got past it, even if he did blush Ė again! And he was sweet. He was desperately trying to be quiet, so he made these funny little moaning noises deep in his throat, which drove me crazy. Of course he wanted to do the same for me but not yet. I wonít let him do anything except receive for a while, give him more confidence, let him see how good it can really be. But he kissed me and that was a whole new avenue to explore. He has the softest, sweetest mouth. I can see a lot more of that particular activity in our future.

I decided a drink in a bar was no way to end such a delightful evening, so I took him for dinner. Heís not as unsophisticated as I thought and was the most relaxed Iíve ever seen him. (Wonder why? Couldnít have anything to do with the shower, could it?) We talked for a long time, finding out about each other, and I think he would have said yes if Iíd asked him to come back with me, but itís too soon. Kissed him goodbye and that almost developed into something more. I had to be very firm with myself and with him! (I almost said hard on myself, but that goes without saying Ė how hard I was, I mean. Had a little friction going there for a minute and he wasnít remotely shy, positively perky in fact!) Iíll see him at the club all next week and maybe next Friday Iíll ask him to come back with me. Iíll have to find out if heís okay about all this, if he wants to go on. Itís going to be fun teasing him and making him blush! Not sure I can wait until Friday, though . . .

January 16th

Itís taken me 24 hours to get things straight in my mind. Terry was at the club before me on Friday, which doesnít happen too often. He was still working out when I got to the gym and he made a point of saying he would wait for me, not to hurry! I still curtailed my workout, was way too anxious to see him. So we ended up in the showers at the same time. I didnít do it on purpose but he probably thinks I did. Not that he said so or anything. Far from it!

Iíve still got this secret glow going on, hardly want to write it down, it was just so incredible. We met at the showers, each wrapped in a towel, and Terry smiled that amazing smile of his. After you, he said and waved at the cubicles. I dived in one and threw my towel out afterwards. That made him laugh even more. Itíll get wet, he said and hung it up for me. He waited for the water to start then stepped in beside me. Iím blushing as much writing this as I did at the time.

Are you okay with this? Terry asked, When I didn't answer right away he began to apologize, and I had to reassure him it was okay. We were crazy! Anybody could have come in but I only thought about that for a moment. The minute Terry touched me I was oblivious to anything, anyone but him. He actually got on his knees and sucked me. It took me all my time not to scream the place down; I could only hang onto his shoulders and not come straight away. It was wonderful, amazing, terrifying, absolutely perfect and over far too soon. I have no control but he didnít seem to be disappointed. He actually said thank you to me! That finished me off completely. I just grabbed him and kissed him, but he wouldnít let me reciprocate. He zipped out of the cubicle into the next one and showered again, then took me off to a restaurant for dinner. It was very fancy and I havenít been to a place like that for a long time, but I didnít make a fool of myself. I remember all that stuff about knives and forks; just donít have the opportunity to use it too often.

We talked for a long time and I was hoping heíd ask me back to his place but he didnít and I didnít want to push it. He drove me home -- that was embarrassing, him seeing the miserable apartment building I live in, especially compared to his Ė and we kissed goodnight. I got a bit carried away, I admit. Probably due to the good food, too much wine and that incredible scene in the shower. He has an amazing tongue (like I hadnít already found that out!) and kisses like thereís no tomorrow. I know I was all over him and there was one moment when I thought I was going to come right there and then, but he fended me off. He was really nice about it, not offended or anything, just said we should slow down a bit. Itís going to be okay, Iím sure, well I think so. He said he would see me at the club next week. Iím not sure I can wait that long. Maybe I could just drop in at his apartment? Would he like that or be angry? Iíll have to think about that . . .

January 17th

Well, that was interesting. The buzzer sounded at about 1. 30 p.m. but when I answered there was no reply. I thought someone had rung the wrong apartment, but when I looked out I saw Chris beating a hasty retreat, like the hounds of hell were after him. I canít believe he came all this way only to chicken out at the last minute. Silly boy! But I take it as a good sign that he thought he could drop in, even if he changed his mind at the last minute. I must give him my phone number when I see him tomorrow. For some inexplicable reason weíve never exchanged that information. He didnít ask me and, stupid me, it just never crossed my mind.

Oh my God! What a fool I am! I spent all morning wondering if I should Ďdrop iní on Terry and even made it as far as his apartment block. It was hell getting there on a Sunday, too. Couldnít find a cab, so I had to take two trains and walk for ages. I didnít get there until after 1.30 and I rang the buzzer and heard Terryís voice answer. Then I had this MAJOR crisis Ė and I just couldnít. I ran all the way back to the subway. At least he didnít see me. I wish I had his phone number. I could have called him instead of trailing all the way across town just to turn tail at the last minute. Idiot, idiot, idiot!

January 18th

I had a late meeting and couldnít make it to the club. I hope Chris doesnít think Iím avoiding him, especially after I told him I would see him tonight. Did he see me at the window yesterday? I hope not because then heíll really develop a complex! I have to get his telephone number.

Terry didnít show up tonight. Iím telling myself he was held up at work (whatever he does!) but Iím wondering if he saw me yesterday and has written me off as a total waste of time. Why, why, why am I such a fool? It was all going so perfectly. Friday night was wonderful and I know in my heart that he is interested in me. Really, I do, but I canít help worrying . . .

January 20th

Itís 2 a.m. and I should be exhausted but Iím wide-awake, so here I am at my laptop while my beautiful boy sleeps. Yes, Chris is sleeping in my bed. I have a big grin on my face as I write that. Chris Is Sleeping In My Bed! Sounds like something from Goldilocks, doesnít it? Am I Poppa Bear? He certainly has golden locks!

Where to start? Last night I finally caught up with him at the club and it was just too much. I cornered him in the locker room and insisted we went for a drink. Went to the little bar around the corner and as soon as we were tucked away in a booth I asked him about Sunday. He was embarrassed, as I expected, and blushed furiously (delicious!). As he stammered and stuttered and apologized, I finally lost it. I just grabbed his hand and hauled him out of there and brought him home. He didnít say a word. He just stood there with a shocked look on his face until I grabbed him and kissed the shit out of him. Then he turned into this whirling dervish Ė hands everywhere, clothes flying. We staggered into the bedroom and just fell on the bed.

There I was with this beautiful naked body beneath me. He is magnificent! I thought perhaps we would keep up the pace but he surprised me yet again. He propped himself up on his elbows and looked at me. Those amazing blue eyes just looked at me Ė all of me. Then he made this funny little sound, took my face in both hands and kissed me so gently I thought I would lose my mind. Then he took over. My shy, blushing, clumsy boy just took over. He turned me onto my back and straddled me (heís strong!). He had this amazing look on his face; I canít describe it really. Then he smiled and I was lost. He trailed his fingers over my face, down my throat, touching me everywhere. Then he did it all again with his lips and tongue. When he finally took my cock in his mouth, I knew I had died and gone to heaven. Where did he learn to do those things with his tongue? Sucking, nibbling, licking until I couldnít stand it anymore. Such pleasure - I have never felt like that! Then he deep-throated me and I came and came, pouring myself down his throat and he just drank me down, then licked me clean. Oh my God! Iím getting hard again just thinking about it!

But he wasnít done with me, not by a long way. He asked for lube and I rolled over to get it from the nightstand. ďStay right there,Ē he whispered and there I am, lying on my stomach. The next thing I know he has his lubed fingers inside me, stretching me open. When he brushed my prostate I yelled from pure pleasure, I admit it. His lips were next to my ear and I heard him chuckle. ďFound your happy button, did I?Ē he asked, his voice full of mischief. I was incoherent by then, only managing to groan in reply. But he wanted more from me than that. ďWhat do you want?Ē he asked. ďDo you want me to fuck you? You want my cock inside you?Ē And Iím supposed to answer? Oh yes, he wants an answer. ďTell me,Ē he insists, ďtell me what you want.Ē I managed to string enough words together to tell him to fuck my brains out, at least I think thatís what I said. Anyway, it was enough. Next thing I know, I feel his big, beautiful cock sliding inside me. He was slow and careful, waiting for me to adjust, waiting for me to beg. And I did Ė I begged him Ė harder, faster, deeper. Heís very good at following instructions, even when they are screamed or whimpered!

And now he sleeps. But heís young, and Iím awake and recovering fast. I think perhaps I might accidentally wake him when I go back to bed. Time to hear him beg and whimper, too.

January 21st

Iím waiting for Terry to come and pick me up, so I thought Iíd record everything thatís in my head while I wait. Tuesday evening Terry showed up at the club and headed straight for me. He didnít change, just waited for me to shower then insisted we went for a drink to the bar around the corner. His expression was fierce and I admit I felt a little worried. When he challenged me about being at his place on Sunday, I was startled to say the least. Heíd seen me leave and I felt terrible. I tried to explain but I just got more and more tongue-tied. My excuses were feeble and all I could do was cringe in embarrassment. I thought for sure he was going to give up on me, especially when he suddenly jumped to his feet. I was totally floored when he grabbed me and hustled me out of the bar, not saying a word, literally dragging me to his car. He looked so grim, I was waiting for him to hit me or something. He didnít say anything, just drove to his apartment and hauled me inside.

I remember standing at the door gaping at him, then he pushed me back and started kissing me. He felt so desperate and I suddenly got it. So I kissed him back, just as desperate, and then we were there in the bedroom, naked. Donít ask me how, I have no idea! It was all a bit too much for me and I needed to slow down. This was our first time together and I didnít want to miss a second. And I wanted it to be good, really good . . .

Now that I had figured it out, that Terry wanted me as much as I did him, I wasnít shy or embarrassed at all. Iím just not good when Iím uncertain about things. Terry had me convinced; now it was my turn to convince him! I made love to him, the best I could, and from the response I got I know he enjoyed himself. But it didnít end there Ė oh no!

I had been sleeping Ė I do that when Iím totally fucked Ė and then something disturbed me. I woke up in totally strange surroundings and it took me a moment to remember I was in Terryís bed. Terryís bed! Shit, but that made me feel good! Then I realised I was feeling more than good! A warm, wet mouth was sucking my balls and my cock paid attention in nothing flat. I heard this deep chuckle and Terryís voice. ďAh, youíre awake, I see!Ē Ha, ha, very funny! I think I might have said that aloud but I didnít have time for much more conversation. Terry is a genius when it comes to giving head Ė I have a LOT to learn! By the time I was fully awake, he had swallowed me and then he did this humming thing that made my cock quiver and I came before I could control myself. Itís not fair to take advantage of a guy when heís just woken up! Not that Terry complained, or anything. No, he was a man with a plan!

ďI know youíre supple,Ē he whispered, ďIíve seen you at the gym. Can you take me like this?Ē Like what, my poor befuddled brain was trying to figure out when I felt his fingers inside me. Oh, like this! Sure, I can do this! Next thing I know, I have my knees bent to my chest and Terryís kneeling in front of me. I feel his cock head pushing inside, just a little, and heís looking down at me with an anxious look on his face. ďOkay?Ē I nodded, no way could I talk at this point and besides, I couldnít take my eyes off him. He had this heavy lidded expression on his face, such a turn on. Then he bit his lip, obviously fighting for control as he eased slowly inside me. And I was gone! He moved slowly inside me, each thrust stroking my prostate until I was a gibbering mess. All I wanted was for him to take me hard but he kept up that slow rhythm until I couldnít stand it one more second. All I could say was his name and he looked at me and nodded. His fingers gripped mine and he leant forward to kiss me, driving himself even deeper inside. I felt myself tighten and his control finally slipped. He pounded into me and I distinctly remember screaming as I came. And came and came.

Thereís the buzzer! Terryís here Ė Iíd better go!

© j. d. davis 2003

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