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Regrets, I’ve Had A Few

By  Wesley P. Benson

I’m often asked by eager fans, where I draw my stories of Gay Erotica from? Well, many of them come from actual true incidents that have happened to my friends over the years; you know, things I’ve witnessed happening to close friends. For me those “third person stories” are almost always so much easier to write about than experiences of my own. Since telling stories is sort of my business, experiences of my own are memories I don’t often care to share. I also admit I’m always conscious of the fact that the other party might get mad or be offended if I kiss and tell so I just USUALLY don’t allow myself to make those things public. I had an occurrence like that when I wrote “The Tutor” that caused ill will between a ‘friend’ and myself; so I have become leery about doing it. And of course some stories are strictly circumstances I’ve imagined; either on my own or after watching a movie or good porn flick. And then finally there are a few chosen tales that actually did come from situations I experienced personally that are so dear to my own heart I’ve chosen to immortalize them. This story is one of those personal happenings.

In the long line of our personal experiences each of us accumulates a number of memories we look back on with regret saying to ourselves “Gee if only I could do it over…”, certainly for me this is one such tale. It happened years ago when I lived in Lake Worth, Florida. My friends knew me as Willy back then and I frequented a local bar called the Music Box; closed now all but for the memories. I was in my thirties which, looking back on them now, were easily some of the best years of my life. Jobless at this particular time, I had agreed to be bar-back for a great friend of mine who was also the night bartender there at the Box. In times of financial distress he was always there to ‘throw me a bone’ in the form of work at the bar or even doing work for someone he knew. At the bar I was everything from bouncer to clean up to bar-back and even bartender at times. On really busy weekends when the crowd got heavy I even waited tables. Gary Noony, my sharp tongued bartender friend, always took very good care of me!

The Music Box was a great little bar so filled with regulars looking out for one another that you actually got to feel as if the bar and the people there were ‘family’. An experience that was so peculiar to the Music Box that I never experienced it again after that. Most of us were all friends of varying closeness; still, from time to time we had our ‘Red Neck’ invaders who would come in looking to have a good laugh by harassing the ‘Fagots’; I assure you in the end the laugh was almost always on them. One of the things I had become ‘noted for’ at the bar was feeling out strangers that looked like ‘trouble’.

“Hey, Noony!” I called out entering the Box through the back door. When you were a regular you always came in through the back door. I’m not sure why, that’s just the way it was. “I got your coffee.” I shouted holding up the Burger King bag. Gary loved coffee from Burger King, so if you wanted to score points or needed a free drink, a cup of coffee went a long way.

“You’re late!” he chided taking a quick puff on his cigarette as he sat there on a beer cooler at the end of the bar, his self proclaimed throne as the Queen of the May! “Get up and let him sit here.” He said turning to Ricky, a mutual friend of ours who had been occupying the stool at the very end of the bar.

“I’m already sitting here!” he protested. Gary just gave him one of those looks. “Come on Gary there’s other seats in the bar, why do I have to move?”

“How’s your beer?” Gary asked him, the cigarette dangling from his mouth as he smiled.

“Why?” he asked with a grin “You gonna buy me one if I move?”

“No!” Gary snapped, as his smile melted away into a glare. “But if you don’t get your fuckin’ ass up off that stool you won’t be buyin’ one either!” Realizing Gary was serious Ricky huffed a bit gathered up his things and moved to a stool a little farther on down the bar. As I humbly took over the infamous choice stool at the ‘end of the bar’ and handed Gary the Burger King bag I quietly asked “What’s up?”

“Same old shit.” He sighed as he began fixing his coffee. “Ya see the fuckin’ crew I have here Mary, what the hell.” At his retort, everyone seated at the bar simultaneous turned their heads to face me as if to say ‘Yeah, we’re the crew he’s talking about’. We all knew Gary; some of us loved him, many disliked him, still even more hated him. For me he was a true and trusted friend.

“Well, look at it this way,” I smiled. “I’m here now.” To which Gary silently rolled his eyes and cocked his head a bit.

“You see the cigarettes and drinks over there?” he hushed, pointing out the direction with a nod of his head. “There are three of them.”

“Yeah.” I replied, my curiosity growing.

“Well the guys sittin’ there are out back now. Probably smokin’ a joint in the alley.” He whispered “Did you see them when you came in?”

“One of them is wearing a white bandana.” Jack, another mutual friend who was sitting around the end of the bar said joining in the conversation as he sipped his cocktail.

“There wasn’t any body out there when I came in.” I retorted with some regret at the possibility of having missed out on a free buzz.

“We think they’re trouble.” Jim said looking at me balefully. Jim was Jack’s lover and was standing along side him, his arm draped over Jack’s shoulder.

“Yeah when they come back in Willy, you’ll see what we mean for yourself.” Big Rick added quietly. Big Rick was a tall very masculine almost gruff looking man who, when you got to know him, was more of a teddy bear than the big bad man he appeared to be. “We’re sitting here listening to them and it just seems like they’re looking for some amusement.”

“Ahhh.” I replied, understanding what they were all getting at and accepting the charge at the same time. “Ok.”

“You think you can feel them out?” Gary asked. “The tall one with the white rag around his head is the ringleader.”

“Maybe he’s a hippy.” Jack chuckled.

“Yeah I’ll feel them out.” I smiled having done this before.

“Just watch yourself Willy!” Gary said cautiously.

“You know we’ll back you up if anything starts.” Jack assured me, to which the others agreed. So I slid off the bar stool and walked over to an empty seat next to where the strangers had been sitting calling out to Ricky as I went over.

“Honey you can have your seat back.” I smiled.

“Fuck off, Willy!” his reply came back. Just then the three strangers walked back in through the rear entrance. And indeed they truly were a motley crew, with long hair and that street look about them that made you think they just had to be straight; no Gay guy would let himself be seen like that. Especially in the bar! As it happened the one wearing the white bandanna sat down next to me. He was tall and like the others looked to be about twenty one give or take. With a strong build and quiet demeanor he wore his brown hair shoulder length. His two front teeth were crooked, one growing sort of over the other a bit, and his face bore the scars of a once bad case of acne; but he also had beautiful blue eyes. I listened as the three of them talked to themselves as we all sat there. From what I could gather they were on their way to California, leaving some kind of trouble in their wake; though I couldn’t make out the whole situation. I admit I was a little intimidated by the ringleader’s height and heavy arms, but when I saw him pick a cigarette from his pack and light up I grabbed one of my own and pretend to look for a light.

“Got a match?” I asked, nudging his arm. For the first time he glanced over at me; after a moment without speaking he tossed a book of matches down in front of me. To me that was usually a red flag that said this guy wasn’t Gay. Unlike another Gay guy most straight guys in a Gay bar seldom light cigarettes for other guys; they’re usually too insecure. So I used the opportunity to my advantage; picking up the matches I lit a one using only one hand, it was a trick my dad had taught me. That trick by the way had very often served me well when trying to impress a bar hotty or a cute little chicken.

“Hey that was all right.” he smiled.

“My dad made me learn it incase I ever had to hold a gun in one hand and light a match with the other.” I said giving him the same line I always gave when showing off the trick. He smiled and gave a short chuckle.

“My name’s Willy.” I said and he shook hands introducing himself as Mike. His strong virile hand shake kept the mystery of weather he was straight or Gay alive in my mind. We did the usual “Where you from?” and “Where are you going?” routine.

“Wish ya would have come in earlier.” He said finally, “We’re about ready to leave, and you’re actually the first friendly person we’ve met here.”

“Yeah, all the rest of these old farts have been cold man!” The guy in the middle groaned, joining in loud enough for all to hear.

“Wow, that’s too bad.” I came back. As I did I casually placed my hand on Mike’s upper thigh just to see what he would do. If he was a red neck I knew he wouldn’t be able to stand for any of that and the jig would surely start. Instead of making any kind of objection he just sort of quickly glanced down at my hand as if acknowledging it was there and just allowed me to continue massaging him. We continued drinking and making small talk until I felt it was time to make my now famous move. Go ahead and call it corny but I took home more hot numbers using this line than I care to tell!

“You mind if I ask you a personal question?” I said as I took a hard look into his eyes. He smiled shaking his head no; I waited for a moment as if nervous and then leaning closer to him asked softly “Do you kiss?” He smiled looking around the bar for a moment in a soft silent paranoia. As I watched his face reddened just ever so slightly and then finally he smiled.

“Yeah.” he whispered with a nod of his head. “I like to kiss.”

“May I?” I said coming back quickly. This was it, if he wasn’t Gay there would definitely be no kiss! I watched with bated breath and saw Gary out of the corner of my eye slide slowly off his throne and reach down inconspicuously for the wooden bat he secretly kept behind the bar. Mike looked at me for a moment as if searching my insides; all of a sudden much to my surprise something soft and sad came out from behind his eyes. A look of pure longing drained across his face and I could see him swallow hard. This was the look you see in someone’s face who you know is lost, someone empty and just hoping to be filled. Having shared the feeling once or twice in my own life I not only recognized it I felt it touch me deep down inside. Staring into my eyes, he placed his arm around my waste and slowly brought his face close to mine; closing his eyes as we kissed. The kiss had started off as just that, a soft simple kiss. But right from the first, I liked it! I liked it and I held on to him letting him know I wanted if not indeed demanded more. That’s when I got that melting away feeling you get when the guy you’re kissing totally submits to you. He was mine! I threw my tongue in his mouth and began that magic I was ever so proud of. I would have gone on even further but as we were kissing I heard Jack bang his glass down on the bar to shake his head and sigh. He like the others now found the entire situation humorous. After fearing these guys all night long, thinking they were red necks out to break some heads, only to find out now that they were just like the rest of us. I could even feel the others all smile as they ordered drinks and started introducing themselves. I also felt the guy next to Mike tug on his sleeve and speak up in an irate tone.

“Come on Mike, what the hell man!” he said not liking the direction things were going in “We were leaving, remember?”

“Yo dude!” Mike said turning to him with a scowl “Just chill! I’ll tell ya when we’re leaving.” Then turning to look at me again he regained his smile; I could tell by his face that he wanted more. So did I, but it wasn’t supposed to turn out like this so it was all totally unexpected.

“Yeah well you’re not leaving here without us so don’t ask!” the first guy chimed in.

“That’s right, and we’re not gonna sit here and wait for you to leave and come back!” the middle guy muttered as he twitched nervously on his bar stool. Mike turned away from me for a moment and really scowled.

“Go ahead.” Mike said turning to him and bringing his face close to theirs “Did you want to tell me something?” his friend, though obviously upset, didn’t speak.

“I gotta tell ya.” He said turning back to me as he retrieved his smile. “I’ve never kissed like that in a bar before.”

“I know your friends don’t want you to leave and all,” I said admitting my own feelings to him, “but I’d give anything to be alone with you even if it could only be for a little while.” I seemed to have become instantly infatuated with Mike. I guess there was just something in that kiss. Thomas Aquinas said, “The eyes are the windows to the soul.” I think if the eyes are the windows then the doorway has to be found in a kiss. I was knocking on this guy’s door and wanted ever so much to get in that I could literally taste it!

“I guess I can’t really leave.” he said glancing over his shoulder angrily “But we do have a car in the parking lot. It’s cramped but…” He stopped his explanation as he saw me nodding to him in a way that silently shouted ‘Come on let’s just go!’ With that, we were off our bar stools and out the back door leaving his two friends to huff and groan in their displeasure. The “car” by the way, turned out to be a very small VW Beetle crammed tight with the personal belongings of all three of these guys. Once inside, Mike turned out to be fantastic; I mean this was the guy I had been looking for all my life but never found! He made out just the way I liked to do it which was a rare find all in itself. See I always liked to take it slow and easy, making the session before the actual sex an adventure in the art of tease and tintinnabulation! Most guys his age didn’t get into making love; more often than not it was the old “Bing Bang Boom and off we go down the road again”! Mike was obviously different; and I might add delightfully so! We latched on to one another in a lip lock to end all lip locks and just went crazy groping and teasing one another. See I had learned a long time ago the key to the mystery of sex was that sex is not just a physical thing; no not at all! Sex, I’m talking real sex, is so much more. When you do it right, sex is a mental state of mind that grows and grows, becoming so strong it overflows itself, breaking through like a magical explosion into the physical world.

“You’ve got a really hot mouth!” I said to him panting as we came up for air. He just smiled taking pleasure in having given me pleasure then took that as his cue to do even more and go even further. I’d been feeling his hard-on since we got into the car and desperately wanted to go down on it, but after my comment he took a dive nose on my own hard seven and a half inches so quickly that I didn’t have a chance to do anything else but lay back and enjoy the ride. He was like a wild man as he began showing me just how good he was at the fine art of oral manipulation! The next thing I knew, he was tearing away at my clothes pushing my shirt up and making love to my nipples one at a time. Usually I was the one making love to the other guy’s nipples so having the tables turned for a change felt surprisingly great. A little while later he was down there, licking and lapping at my balls using the flat of his tongue in ways no one had ever done before. In fact at one point he had taken both of my large heavy nuts in his mouth and rolled his wide magic silky wet tongue all over me. I swear I felt like a high school girl on prom night! Then it came. He latched his mouth onto my rock hard cock and started sucking. Again he used the flat of his tongue to tease and literally torture me as he pumped that hot hard cock deep in and out of his slowly devouring throat. I watched in anxiously anticipating pleasure lovingly stroking his hair as his head went up and down over and over again riding my taffy worm in a slow methodical cadence that just drove me wild! When he went down, he went down all the way and then he would hold it there deep in his throat and just grind me into him as if his lust for hot cock was insatiable. On the up stroke he would slowly glide his mouth right to tip almost coming off of me only to stop just short of the head of my dick and then spin his tongue around over and under the wildly pulsating head of my cock while still holding me in his mouth. Not even I could do that! Then back down he’d go, turning his head to and fro as he glided up and down with a slow constant rhythm knowing exactly how and what to do. Then suddenly I felt him force my cock all the way down passed his mouth, deep into his throat, burying his face into my pelvis in a way that drove me wild. As if that wasn’t enough, somehow with my cock completely crammed deep into his throat he made his tongue glide out and lap at my balls. Right then I felt like I could have cum!

Sensing my heightened pleasure like some sex crazed mad man he shifted position and started sucking really hard on my cock as his head fucked me with lightening precision. I heard him moan again and again in delight as his head fucked my throbbing cock faster and faster until I felt I just couldn’t take it any more! I heard myself groan as my body twitched and convulsed in a wild impassioned response to his total sexual manipulation. The feeling came upon me and I knew something had to give though I tried so desperately to hold on to my orgasm, and I really did try; but I lost all self control to Mike and his unbelievable abilities!

“I’m gonna cum!” I grunted as I grasped his head in my hands and panted. I didn’t known if he wanted to take the load or not, but if he didn’t take me out of his mouth soon there would be no choice in the matter. I arched my back uncontrollably and grunted again. “I’m gonna shoot!!” I cried. This time I heard him grunt and all I could do was hope that his grunting meant he wanted what was cuming because now there was definitely no choice in the matter. I arched my body back so far it felt like I was almost standing up in the car; and then it happened. I exploded harder and with more fury than I had ever cum before in my life! This orgasm was so hard it almost hurt! My body shook and I felt like a rubber doll as wave after wave of searing hot love juice shot out from my inflated cock. I kept waiting for the cum to stop but it just wouldn’t. Finally, as I slumped back, totally spent, I looked down and saw I had drenched his face completely with sticky white love cream. His mouth his chin his face and my gut all at the same time, were covered in what I had done. Panting, I caressed his head and shoulders watching in disbelief as he licked and lapped happily at the puddle left on my stomach! I chuckled a little, pulling him up on top of me; again our lips locked in a long hot kiss.

I had fallen in love with him and he confessed to having strong feelings of his own for me, admitting that he could easily fall in love with me. And of course he loved oral sex; something I was passionate about myself. Believe me when I tell you that I tried hard to convince him to let the others go on their way and stay with me. When he refused I even tried to get him to camp out with his friends at my place at least for a few days before they left. But he told me he knew if he did that he would never be able to leave; and then there was the matter of the trouble he and the others needed to get away from. So in the end there was nothing I could do. He and his friends left that night and I never heard of or from him again. I was left to wonder to myself how different my life would have been had he stayed. If only it had been a different time and a different place. Indeed Mike, if you’re out there and you recognize this tale, know that you are one of my deepest regrets! I know we could have become fantastic lovers. And if you are out there, you can always e mail me at wesfans1@yahoo.com!! And you guys can e mail me there too and let me know what you thought of this or any of my stories. I love hearing from you all. Until the next time.

The End

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