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love or something like it



I told Chris about John and his doubts. He laughed and assured me he will take care of that in future. Next day we acted normal before John. We had sex that day but when John arrived we are sitting and reading. He looked each other and asked Chris,

“Chris, may I ask you something about yourself?”

“Yes, what you want to know about Me.? Chris looked me and smiled.

John looked me and asked Chris, “Do you have any girlfriend?”

“Yes,” Chris laughed, he looked me and said, “Yes, I have someone waiting for me. Within three or four years we will be together.”

John was looking Chris face. Sky rumbled and lighting struck. I was crestfallen. Chris laughed more and asked,

“Why did you ask John?”

“Nothing, I want to know.” He smiled, “Josh, what happened to you?”

“I’m afraid of lightning, you know” I said suddenly and sit on the bed. Chris came to me and holds me close to him.

“Don’t fear. I’m here with you….” and quickly added, “John is here. We didn’t allow the lightning come near you.”

I went home that evening and depressed. Chris has a girlfriend and they will marry after he would complete his study. What a fool I was! Then he had to marry. I told me. He can’t marry me. The social order will not be pleased about and would not accept us. We will be a laughing stock. But we have our love and no one have the awareness of us. That’s enough for me. I never heard a man married a man! I was miserable thinking more about this.

Emily asked me what got in my head at dinner and I told nothing. It’s a toothache and mom said it is the time for me to have a check up. She said tomorrow after school she takes me to dentist.

Next morning I met Chris on my way to school. He was waiting for me at his gate.

“Good morning Jo...” he greeted.

“Where are you going so early? I was astonished.

“Can I walk with you?” he asked.

I looked him doubtingly and nodded. We walked slowly some time.

“I do not have a girlfriend.” He suddenly said.

I looked him with a surprise. He is waiting for me to say this!

“John was testing us and he wanted some hint about us. He has some doubts. So, I had to tell him a lie. I don’t want anyone will know about us before the time. It would create some problems and that is bad for you. But except that wheat I said was true. I had made some planning.” He smiled.

I want hug him and kiss him. I know he is thinking the same but we were in a public place. So, I took his hand in mine and pressed. He looked around us and sighed.

“Jo, don’t misunderstand me, please…. And don’t do that ignoring act. He told, “if you don’t want to spend the life with me……….”

I pressed hard as if assuring him.

“After school I’m going to the dentist with mom.” I told, “It’s a routine check up.”

“Meet me after”. He said and pressed his two fingers on his lips then pasted it on my lips and was gone. John is coming. But he didn’t see us. I called and walked to him.

“Why are you so happy.” John asked as we were walking.

“Because it’s not raining.” I said.

Sky is darkening so we walked fast.

“Hey Josh ….” He called. “I think Chris is playing a game with you.”

“How come..? I asked, “Messenger appeared you at night?”

“I’m not joking.” He was serious. “I think he is not like Daniel; you were with me when I asked him if he have a girlfriend and he said yes.”

I nodded, “We are just friends, John.”

“He wants sex with you. He is preparing you for that with this friendship. So, keep away. Daniel said there is more people like him.” He advised.

“You talk about Chris with Daniel?” I was fuming.

“No, he was explaining to me about the peoples. So I know about Chris. He had the same look in his eyes when he is looking you.” John told.

He misinterpreted Chris eyes. I smiled at my living encyclopedia.

“Don’t worry. I won’t be a prey.” I assured him. “But John, you both can’t marry?’

“You are such a dumb!” he stated. “In what era you are living? Here we can’t. But we can some foreign countries. We are going and will settle there. Of course, after we are completing our study. Daniel will go first and he has his relatives there. His cousin is helping him. He will go first and arrange then take me. It will take four years and he planned everything of our future.”

John is beaming. I looked him admiringly. Really he had more knowledge than me. How he is beaming when he is mentioning Daniel’s name. How Daniel planned everything for him and John.

Something lighted in my mind. Chris… he was saying the same yesterday! I was beaming too.

And after lunch John had an upset stomach and had to go.

Dentist said my teeth are okay and don’t have any cavities. So we are early home. I quickly changed into my house uniform and ran to Chris. He was in his room working. Aunt said. He was to the library and takes home some old documents to study for his research.

I was near his door when Chris called, “Jo, come in and lock the door.”

I did as he said.

Chris was lying on the bed. His eyes were shut and his hands were folded under his head.

“Come close...” he told.

I was near him when he lifted his right hand and pulled me to his chest. I fell over his chest and adjusted my body on top of him. His hands seized me but kept his eyes close.

“How did you know it was me?” I purred.

“I just know.” He murmured. “But how…. I didn’t... maybe… it’s my heart.”

He opened his eyes and looked my face. It was full of love. We were bursting with love.

“I know what was you saying yesterday.” I said softly. “John explained”

“How John can explain? You asked him…? Chris asked.

“No…no...” then told him about John and Daniel and their relationship. He was smiled as he listening and said, “They are lucky to have each other. God bless them.”

I placed my cheek to his chest and listened the soft pounding of his heart. He tightened his hands.

“Just lay there,” he whispered. “We will lie like this till the end of world.”

But it was not the world ending when someone knocked the door. It was only half an hour. We untied our body and I slip to the side and to the floor. Chris was getting up from the bed and I pointed to his middle. He looked there and shook his head shyly. He was hard and an enormous protuberance is there. We looked at each other and he shakes his finger to me. He moved to open the door as he was patting down his bulge flat. I walked to the chair and sit on it.

It was John who is knocked. He was late.

“Sorry Chris...” he apologized. “I had to go woods with my friend for collecting some specimen for his science lab.”

I mouthed Chris I will tell later. He followed Chris look and saw me.

“Josh… you are here!” he exclaimed. He looked me searchingly and then Chris. He is suspicious.

“What you both were doing the door locked?” His eyes are searching us.

“Nothing,” Chris told him. “We were working on something and don’t want to show others before it finish.”

John nodded as he understood but I know later he will question me.

What I think then happened next day at lunch. We were alone in a corner and whispering to each other.

“Don’t tell me. But I know what happened there.” He told suddenly.

“What are you speaking?” I didn’t understand his sudden outburst.

“You and Chris in his room.” He cleared.

“Nothing as you thinks” I said. “The room was locked because Chris was showing me love of his life. And he don’t want aunt or grandma would come and see because he said he don’t want to show them now.”

This is true.

“How is she?” now and then my clever friend is a fool.

“Very charming.” I said.

“Oh… sorry Josh. I thought you both were having sex.” He said flatly.

I tried my hard to look shocked. But John had some of his doubts undecided. Because he saw I was blushing.

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