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love or something like it



I was thinking about what Emily said and Chris. What’s he doing now? He is not thinking about me! He has a lot of work to do other than thinking about me. Why did he talk about me to my sister? His smell is not completely gone from me. I think it’s a part of me and last forever…..

I heard some noises coming from other bed. I turned my eyes there and look hard to make out. They are speaking but I can’t hear what. Someone is sighing and giggling…

I look hard.

I saw they are moving and twisting. I heard kissing sounds. Kissing? Someone is moving over another. “Bite me there” it’s Freddy. What are they doing? A long moan came from Freddy. So, the one laying on his back is Freddy and other one moving over him is Frank.

I kept my breath and centered my attention on them. Frank moved down. I can make out them because of the light coming through the window. They both are full naked. Freddy’s body is twisting as Frank moved over him. His head sank between Freddy’s partly lifted thighs. I heard sucking sounds and as Freddy moaned, “Fast… fast...

Freddy straighten his legs on bed. I saw Frank’s head moving up and down as he drinks Freddy. His one hand picking the cock and other is massaging Freddy’s stomach. Freddy is moaning and twisting his body. Then suddenly it stopped. Both lay still and I can hear only the long hard breaths they taking.

I feel hardness is in my underwear. My little cock is struggling in my underwear to stand straight. I moved my hand there and pressed. It is very hard and throbbing inside. I softly massaged it over the underwear and trouser as looked the other bed.

Frank is moving up and lying top of Freddy. Their hands wrapped around each other.

Freddy’s hand moving top of Frank’s back side and buttocks. He is massaging Frank as he is moving top of him. They are kissing each other and sucking their mouths. They are telling each other as taking long breaths. Frank’s motion became fast and fast and he is sighing and panting.

Then he lay still on top of Freddy and panting hard. Freddy’s massage became faster and he hugged Frank hard to him.

I had seen how Daniel and John having sex but this is new to me. I didn’t understand how Frank and Freddy is doing? Is Chris has knowledge about all of this? Chris. I wished Chris here with me on this cot. I don’t know if I want he do to me what Frank and Freddy did to each other. I want he kiss me and lay with me and hug me hard. I want his smell to inhale and whole my body. I want his heat coming to me. Oh… Chris… I love you… I said silently.

Someone is standing beside my cot and I saw his bare legs. I closed my eyes.

“He is sleeping….” Frank. “He doesn’t know or see as you afraid… if he had seen; he didn’t know what it was.”

He goes to the bathroom and I heard the water running. He returned and lies beside Freddy.

“Hey Fred, I am still hot. Are you? Touch it boy”. Frank said to him.

“May I cool it?” Freddy is giggling.

“Why do you cut some of your jungle? It is very thick sticking to my lips and nose.” Freddy is complaining. What is the jungle? I opened my eyes and looked them. Frank is lying on his back. His hands are forcing Fred’s head to his middle. Fred is sucking his cock. So, Jungle is his pubic hair. I need to learn more.

I moved my hands inside the waistline of my trouser and underwear. My cock is hard like a stick. I pressed it and take it in my hand. I can’t move my hand because of my tight brief. I touch top of my cock and pressed my finger. I was thinking about Chris’ cock pressed on my stomach. I remember the sticking wetness on my T shirt and in front of his trouser and white brief. I touched the piss hole but none of any liquid there. But it felt good. So I continued…..

There is no sound coming from Frank and Freddy. Both are lying still hugging each other. So tried hard to sleep………..

When I was awake it was nine o’ clock. Both boys are already up and not in the room. I got up and went to the bathroom. I came to the dining room and Emily is there and speaking with Frank and aunts.

“Good morning.” I said to every body.

“Slept well?” Aunt asked.

“yeah.” I replied. I saw Frank looking me sideways. I kept my face blank.

“Do you want to come with us?” Emily asked. “We are going to hospital.”

I said yes. Later we went to hospital.

Grandpa was well for next two days. The doctor said now there nothing to worry and we can take him home after two day.

Mom called Jess Aunt the after the day doctor told this. They speak for some time. After mom told us everything is okay there. The rain became heavier and pouring day and night continually. The weather is cold. People residing the seashore having problems because of the rain and now is staying in the schools for some days. Aunt, Chris and other people from the church and other institutions are helping them. She told her them now grandpa is well so we are planning to leave for home the next day grandpa is home.

I was happy. Now I hated Frank more. That night repeated for two more nights

He knows that I know what they did that night. On Tuesday I met Freddy at the sweet shop in the street. He walks with me and asked about our home, my friends etc. then he looked into my eyes and said.

“You know about us”.

I keep my face blank and asked, “What?”

“Oh… don’t be such an ass Josh; you are not a baby. I know you are not sleeping and saw what we are doing…” he was a little angry.

I looked him and said nothing. “It’s…” he stammered. He looked down, “it’s going between us for a while. Nobody knows about this. We are friends from childhood and you know …….”

Yes. I know. “I’m not going to tell...” I said. He said nothing. I said bye to him because we reached the gate of his house.

I knew that he had told Frank. His face darkened whenever he sees me. We speaks only in front of others and didn’t in the room we are sharing. Inwardly I am afraid of him. He looks me like he wants to hit me.

Days are passing slowly.

We were decorating the house for welcome grandpa home. Every body is here for his homecoming. His daughters, their husbands and children and everyone were creating an atmosphere that remembers me a fish market. Aunt Sarah has only one son named Luke and he is doing the college. Aunt dolly has twin daughters named Elise and Alice and last year in their senior school. All of my cousins are elder than me.

We had two rains within the period we are here. Today, the sky is darkened and perhaps going to pour. Dad and uncle were in hospital and will be here around noon with grandpa. Mom and aunts were in the kitchen preparing cake for welcoming grandpa. I was with Emily and our cousins. We were sitting in the frond lawn and speaking. Not me. I was left alone with my thinking. Frank was telling them what he wants to do after completing the school. He was acting innocent in front of them.

Suddenly they turned to me and I was a little feared. Cousin Luke was saying something which I don’t here.

“What?” I asked.

I am asking you what’s your planning for the future.” He repeated.

To live with Chris! I thought and blushed. But I said, “I don’t know. I am only fourteen.”

“He is a baby. He will let others will do the planning for them.” Frank looks me and rolled his eyes.

“Leave him alone, do you Frank?” my sister snapped. “He will plan about his future when he reaches your age.”

Frank was silent but I saw he is looking me venomously.

All were silent. Everybody knows that Frank hates me. But nobody knows why. Even I. the reason is known only to him. Luke changed the subject and telling us about his college life.

I left them and go to the room and lied on the cot. As lying there sleep came to me and I slept.

I woke up as hearing the screeching sound of brakes.

Grandpa is home! I ran down the stairs to front door. Everyone is crowding there and the women are crying. My mom holding grandma and both are crying. What happened? I rushed through them to the front and saw the vehicle. It is an ambulance and its doors open. Dad, uncle and two other men lifted a coffin from inside and carried the coffin to us.

Grandpa was lying inside. His eyes are closed forever and his hands crossed on his chest. He was dead.

Later I knew from Emily that he was well and happy to come home. As dad uncle were packing the things he told them he felt tiredness and want to rest for five minutes. He lies on the bed and shut the eyes. After some minutes uncle called him but he didn’t opened his eyes. He was dead.

Our relatives of Pondicherry and neighbors came to see grandpa. Funeral kept for Saturday. After the funeral a memorial service on Sunday after church. Relatives and family friends were coming from the distance.

I didn’t cry for grandpa how much I want too. Tears not came from my eyes and I amazed to see that Frank was crying like a baby. The house was full of people and they kept grandpa in the big hall. I didn’t see my parents or my sister. I keep myself in Frank’s room. Now we are sharing the room with Luke and two other boys I didn’t know. They will go after funeral but Luke will be here for some days.

I shut my self in the room. Rain didn’t fall on the day when grandpa died. Not for the next day. It is waiting like me.

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