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life at a private school

Chapter Twenty

I walked aimlessly to Cass's classroom fighting back tears the entire way and managing to keep my composure and not make a total fool of myself. I looked in the small glass window of the door and saw that she was teaching a second form class. I took a deep breath and knocked gently on the door before opening it and walking in. Cass looked up from explaining something to a student and looked at me with a very worried expression on her face. She read the expression on my face very quickly and excused herself from the class and took me outside. I could feel thirty pairs of eyes on me as I stood there waiting for her, they all knew or had heard rumors about the incident and they were all wondering what was going on.

As soon as Cass asked what happened I crumpled against the wall and took a few minutes telling her about the meeting, my father and the expression on Mcallister's face. She took me into her arms and hugged me to her and then looked me in the face and asked me if she should go get Tim for me. I nodded and smiled almost as if she had read my mind and knew what I wanted and needed right now.

She told me to go back into her classroom and look after her class for me while she would go and get Tim excused from class for the rest for the rest of the afternoon. I quickly agreed as she hurried off to find Tim. I walked into the classroom and sat down telling the students that Cass would be back in a few minutes and they should continue on with their exercises.

The next ten minutes seemed to drag on forever and I kept on analyzing the meeting and why my father had sided against me and had sided with the school. I couldn't believe that after everything he had heard last night and the really obvious way in which they had maneuvered the entire "legal solution" to make the school come out in the clear.

Why did he do it? I could understand why the school acted the way they did with trying to cover it all up as quickly and cleanly as possible, but my own father? The school could not really afford to have that sort of scandal, but I couldn't understand why they were protecting a teacher who physically assaulted a student. What was going on here, what did the school owe Mcallister?

Or was it because I was perceived as being gay and they truly believed that a gay student, even if they didn't actually know he was gay, should be treated like that. In the end I started to actually believe that the reason the school protected him and basically allowed me to be abused was because they were truly homophobic and they were tacitly approving of homophobic victimization.

I was lost in my thoughts when Cass returned to the classroom and tapped me on the shoulder, "get out of the school for the afternoon, I've said the both of you are on a special assignment for me, and give Jo and I a call tomorrow and we will help work out a plan of attack".

I quickly left the room and walked out the door straight into the arms of my lover. He was standing there with both our schoolbags draped over his broad shoulder. I checked to make sure the coast was clear and we passionately kissed. Cass had already told Tim about the meeting and how my father had stabbed me in the back by signing yesterday's alternate version of events.

After breaking apart from our amazing kiss we made our way to Tim's car and sat inside for a moment working out where we were going to go this afternoon. I didn't want to go to my place because my father might be there and I didn't want to see or talk to him particularly. In the end we decided that since Tim's father was in the US and his mother was somewhere in Asia, we would go back to his place, change into some casual clothes and head off to Bondi for the afternoon.

We raced towards Tim's place arriving just before two o'clock in the afternoon with more than enough time to change and then go out again. Since it was Friday night we didn't have to be at school in the morning and I was not intending to go home that night or weekend for that matter.

We arrived at Tim's place and sped down the long driveway to his house, he explained along the way that the only people around were the housekeeper who I knew from being their other times lived on the property in her own small house and the gardener who was there three days of the week. Sally, the housekeeper was very well aware of Tim and my relationship, having woken us up one morning while we were sleeping in on a weekend. She had been totally discrete and told us that she would never tell Tim's parents or anyone else about us. Sally was a university student who studied two days of the week and spent the rest of the time making sure that the house and Tim were well looked after.

In all the time we had been seeing each other I still had not met Tim's parents even though he had met mine and I was very relieved that this was not the day that I would meet them. From what I had pieced together from conversations with Tim, he didn't really get on with his parents very well and they treated him like a pet in many ways. They made sure that he was well looked after, but it was always by other people like Sally. His mother and father rarely saw each other and made sure that when they were in the same house that they slept in separate bedrooms.

Even though Tim never said very much about his family I always sensed an incredible sadness in him whenever the subject was bought up, his eyes would cloud over and he would bite the side of his lip. I never pushed him because it just didn't seem the time to ask and I wanted him to tell me when he felt that he could.

As we walked into the house Sally came out from the kitchen to say hi and see why we were out of school so early. I felt very numb and didn't want to talk or let anyone else see my eyes which I knew were red rimmed and puffy. So I said a feeble Hi and almost ran to Tim's room so I could sit down. Tim stayed talking to Sally for a few minutes before coming up and joining me in the room. I was sitting on the bed staring at a spot on the wall trying to figure out what I was going to do. I never wanted to return home or anywhere near my father again. As far I was concerned he had given up all rights as a father when he signed that piece of paper. I thought of my father as an incredibly weal and little man with no grounding in reality or understanding of who or what I was.

I felt very sorry for my mother because she was caught there with my father and although I was not really mad at her, she was just as much to blame for what had happened. She needed to stand up to my father and tell him that he was overstepping the mark with me, or at least show me the support that I so desperately needed.

I didn't notice Tim coming in the room and I was jolted momentarily when he sat down on the bed next to me and hugged me. The stress of the last few days was just too much for me and I broken down sobbing onto Tim's school shirt. He held me tighter and tighter to his strong chest. He gently whispered in my ear telling me that I would be ok and kissing my head as I buried it in his chest. I felt so very alone and vulnerable even though the boy that I loved was holding me. I just didn't know how I could ever feel better and stop this feeling of abandonment that was eating away in my stomach and heart. I stopped crying after a while and just held on to Tim and fell asleep in his arms.

I woke up with a real jolt and felt my body creak and moan from being at such a odd angle while sleeping. I could still feel Tim's warm body next to mine and I decided to stay put for a few minutes and bask in the feeling of being held. The clock by Tim's bed said it was nearly three o'clock in the afternoon and I was very hungry already. I stretched my legs and the movement must have woken Tim up because he yawned and hugged me tighter to his body.

"You all right sweetness?" he asked between yawning and slowly stretching out beside me. I mumbled a yes and leaned into his mouth so I could show him how much I loved him for being there with me. Our lips touched and we kissed deeply while our bodies continued to be entwined with one another. I could feel the hardness of his penis pressing against mine which was also making itself known. Our teenage hormones started to take over and our kissing became more and more urgent as our bodies yearned for the touch of naked flesh upon naked flesh.

I slid my hand down in between our two crotches end felt our hard cocks throbbing and radiating heat. I was just about to slide my hand down Tim's pants when we heard a soft knock on his door and froze in a panic.

We quickly split apart and tried to cover our raging hard ons that were quite visible in our pants as the door opened a crack.

"are you boys decent?" Sally giggled from behind the doorway before waiting for a response.

"yeah, we were just um talking" Tim blushed looking at me with that stunning half grin and smirk of his. My heart almost melted at that moment and if I hadn't been so scared of being caught nearly in the act I would have jumped him right then and there.

"Come in", I yelled fighting back the urge to grab Tim and kiss that smile off his face. Sally opened the door the rest of the way and walked in surveying our creased clothes and the obvious movement of our hands trying unsuccessfully to hide our excitement. She crossed the room and sat in Tim's desk chair barely suppressing the smirk on her face. It was obvious that she had guessed what we were up to and it wasn't embarrassment that showed in her face, instead it was a mixture of amusement and a tinge of excitement having almost caught us in the act.

"Your mother is in the house", she said looking at Tim, "she's asked to see you in her living room." My heart skipped a beat and I wondered why Sally was being so formal about Tim's mother. Tim grabbed my hand and squeezed it very tight and his face went a shade of pale that I never seen before.

"Why, is anything wrong, um does she know that um Josh is here?", he asked in a trembling voice looking at me and hen at Sally with unbridled fear in his eyes.

"No nothing's wrong, and yeah she knows that Josh is here because one of the gardeners said that you had a friend from school with you when you came home".

"look I wouldn't worry she just wants to see you, after all she hasn't seen you in over two months".

"Yeah but why now, why this afternoon". Tim was starting to get really worked up now and I could almost taste the fear that was coming from his body.

"Don't you know what date it is silly boy", sally scolded in a soft and caring voice?

Tim looked at her for a moment and then a flicker of recognition crossed his face and all at once the sadness that I had seen so often in his eyes came back.

"hmm" he said and then turned to me and asked me if I wanted to meet his mother. Half of me wanted to run as fast as I could away from the house at the thought of having to meet him mother while I was in such a sad and sorry state. But the look in Tim's eyes made my heart skip a beat as he stared at me looking like a little lost puppy dog. I almost started crying again because I was so worried and so mixed up at that moment but managed to keep my emotions to myself.

I agreed that I would go down to meet his mother and we all got up. I stole a glance at Sally as she straightened her back and put on an almost blank expression on her face. I was confused with all the formality of the situation and what was really going on. I had no idea what the significance of the date was and why people wee being so damn formal about Tim's mother.

As we made our way down the stairway Tim turned to me and gave me a quick little squeeze of my hand and a pleading look in his eyes.

"It'll be ok, mother is fine just so long as you are polite to her".

This confused and frightened me and it made me feel as though I was meeting the queen. When we reached a closed door on the west side of the house Sally knocked softly and announced that Master Tim and Master Josh would like to enter. My hands were feeling sweaty as we walked into one of the most beautiful rooms I had ever been in. The carpet was a very thick cream that seemed to almost glimmer in the soft light that was filtering through the trees in front of the French doors. An enormous fireplace was in the centre of the room surrounded by plush sofas. The vent for the fireplace directly above the fire was painted a soft cream making the place feel like the private inner sanctum of a queen.

My eyes widened as I took in the sight of walls littered with stunning pieces of artwork, and on the wall directly to my left hung what looked to be like an original Pissaro or Monet. I was lost in wonder a refined English voice said "Son, how nice of you to see me".

I turned slightly to see a women who looked no more than thirty five wearing an elegant casual black dress with the most stunning brown eyes I had ever seen in my life. Her hair was a deep brown and her face had the unmistakable likeness of Tim with the perfect cheekbones and not a wrinkle or blemish on her skin. After embracing Tim she turned to me and offered me her hand and introduced herself. Her face radiated beauty and grace as I nervously introduced myself and felt the soft warm skin of her hand on mine.

She motioned for us to sit on a sofa near where she had been sitting and we all sat down. She looked at Tim lovingly and I wondered what on earth Tim was so nervous about his mother for. It was so very obvious that she adored him and that he adored her.

They ignored me as they spoke about Tim's grades and mentioned today's date again. I was still very puzzled by all of this, but knew that Tim would tell me what was going on in his own time. After a few minutes she turned to me and asked how I knew Tim. We gave each other a nervous glance and I responded that we had met through the school musical which I just remembered was opening tonight. She looked at my arm which was still in a sling from the day before and asked what had happened to me.

At first I didn't know what to say, but Tim jumped in and said that there had been some trouble at school the day before. My heart started beating rapidly wondering what Tim was going to say and silently praying that he wouldn't tell her the whole story.

But Tim told her that I was a scholarship student and one of the teachers seemed to have a problem with me and had assaulted me. He finished the story and mentioned that I would be staying here for a couple of days because my father had sided with the school. I was in shock that Tim had told his mother almost the entire story and was terrified that she would think me some sort of troublemaker and tell me to get out of the house.

Instead she looked straight at me eyes narrowed and asked how I felt and was there anything she could do. I shook my head and stared in horror as my entire body went hot and cold as the fear coursed through me.

"No, I should be fine, I just need to calm down before seeing my father, I just can't believe that he would have turned on me like that"

"Parents do some strange things Tim. Sometimes they want their children to have everything they didn't and they end up diving them away", she said as she looked at Tim.

"They always mean well, but sometimes they need to let their children find their own paths in their lives". I could feel the stress in Tim as his entire body stiffened and I knew that there was a hidden message just for Tim in what his mother had said to him.

I looked at Tim and was surprised to see tears in his eyes as his mother spoke, there were so many unanswered questions I had about what was going on and what they were talking about.

Tim's mother turned back to me and said that I could stay for as long as I needed to, and then she really surprised me by starting a tirade of abuse aimed at our school. I was totally flabbergasted as this tirade continued with her calling the headmaster of the school a noveau riche bastard and the school council a bunch of old fashioned fuddy duddy's who had never done a hard days work in their lives.

I was shocked by the language and the sentiment that she was displaying and I saw a burning hatred in her eyes as she spoke. The total contradiction between her graceful and beautiful persona and the vitriolic attack she made on the school.

I sat there not knowing what to say as she continued for a few more minutes until she fell silent and sipped from the glass in front of her. All three of us were silent as we were left to our own thoughts. Finally Tim said he still remembered and would never ever forget. He then asked where his father was, and his mother looked at him with a freshly bring rage behind her eyes and told him that as far as she was concerned he could be on Mars never to return.

I knew from past conversations that Tim's mother and father did not get along, but this sort of open hostility was something that I had never seen outside of the movies and TV shows. She turned back to me and suggested that if I required she could have her solicitor talk to m about the school and taking action against them.

I remained silent not knowing what to say in response to this, until Tim spoke and said that I was going to think about it for a few days before I took any form of action. I nodded dumbly agreeing with Tim as his mother's eyes stared intensely into mine and I shifted on the sofa uncomfortably.

She nodded and then suggested that since it was such a lovely winters afternoon maybe we should get out of the house and take a drive somewhere. I was instantly relieved as I no longer felt like I was on display for his mother and knew that we could escape very soon. I didn't want to embarrass Tim in front of his mother but I also felt very confused and uncomfortable being in the middle of something that was obviously very painful and very private.

We said our goodbyes to Tim's mother and got up to go. But before we could leave this amazing room and strange situation she came over and hugged both of us individually and then told us to be careful and asked us to have dinner with her tonight. He also asked if Sally should make up one of the guest rooms for me to stay in but Tim interrupted and said that he wanted me to share his room.

I thought his mother would find this very strange but she just nodded and smiled at use and said that was fine, but we had to keep the noise down because she knew that two teenage boys could be very rowdy when they got together on the weekends. Tim reminded her that he had to go to play in the school musical tonight and we wouldn't be able to have a late dinner. She smiled but her eyes returned to the same sadness that by now I realized seemed to be a family thing in Tim's family.

We promised that we would be back by 6pm so we could have dinner with her and then go to the musical. I wasn't so sure that I wanted to go, I knew that I couldn't perform because of my shoulder, but I wanted to be as close as possible to Tim that night and weekend so I though I could just sit in the orchestra even if I wasn't able to participate.

As we left the room I so wanted to ask Tim what was going on, about the date, his mother's vitriolic attack the school and why he was so nervous of his mother. I felt a lot better at that moment because I had replaced my despair at my own situation with curiosity about Tim and his relationship with his parents. I desperately wanted Tim to be able to confide in me, and was wondering why if he loved me so much he had not done so already.

At the front of the house we went left to the garage. Now I knew that Tim's parents had money, it was obvious from the house, but the garage was something else. We went in the side door to a building that was at least three times the size of my entire house. The inside was dark and I could just make out a big open area like a warehouse with a whole lot of cars parked there. Tim flipped on the light and the entire area was instantly bathed in bright light and the sight of the car collection took my breath away.

I looked at a brand new Ferrari parked next to three other Ferraris of different vintages and models. Beyond that were a mixture of strange, exotic and just plain expensive cars. It was like being inside a luxury car deals with all the different types and models.

I turned to Tim my mouth open and he grinned back at me and said "surprise".

"how, what, why", I spluttered as my mind raced to take everything in.

"Dad, is a car collector, most of the cars you see here have been bought at auction in Australia and Europe for bargain prices. The Ferrari in front of you", he said pointing at something I recognized as an old Dino from the 1960's. "was bought as a wreck and down up by my father and um my um, he continued trailing off for a moment before continuing on a a description of the cars.

I had been thinking that his father's MX5 was pretty exotic and cool, but the cars that lay in front of me were breathtaking. I wasn't a huge car freak or anything but I did love the look and feel of sports cars, not that I ever expected to own one or get to drive one until I was way older.

"The MX5 is actually my car", Tim said as if reading my mind. "Father decided that I needed something a little more sporty, so he had his secretary order one for me". My mind raced with questions, so much had been going on that I had no idea about and I felt a little bit upset that Tim had been lying to me about it being his father's car.

Tim grabbed my hand and pulled me along the rows of cars and explained along the way that he wanted to tell me that it was his car, but didn't want me to think that he was a spoilt brat. I nodded my head to say that I understood, wondering to myself what other shocks were in store for me, because I had the feeling now that there was a lot about Tim and his family that I didn't know.

We continued going through the garage until we came to an old MGA painted in a deep British Racing Green with a soft and inviting Tan leather interior. Unlike many of the other cars in the garage this one had some dirt on it's sides and looked like it was driven regularly. The rest of them seemed like they were almost in showroom condition. Tim grinned at me holding up a key in his hand and told me to jump in.

After the automatic garage door opened we sped off down the long driveway towards the Northern Beaches through the glorious national parks of Ku Ring Gai nearby Tim's house.

We didn't talk as we drove because the roar of the engine and the wind in our eyes made it too difficult. Instead I put my hand on Tim's strong leg and felt the muscles expand and contract as he worked the clutch of the old car like a pro. It took about forty five minutes to rocket through the old roads towards the headland overlooking the ocean. When we arrived Tim parked the car next to a few other cars that were in the parking lot and we made our way up the small pathway to the headland summit. I had often come here since getting my drivers license to sit and watch the sunset and think about my life and why I was so lonely.

Tonight the cool evening air was prickling against our skin as the last rays of the sun started to disappear over the hills behind us. The headland was bathed in a soft orangey yellow haze of sunset and it felt so perfect and relaxing to be with Tim. We were still in half our school uniforms and a few people looked at us as we walked to the edge and looked over to the sea 100 meters below. We sat on the edge with our legs dangling our legs touching but being kind of discrete in case anyone had a problem with two gay boys.

We sat silently for a few minutes before Tim asked me what I wanted to do about the school, my father and Mr Mcallister. I had to think a while before answering because even though it was weighing on my mind and I was furious with my father, I still didn't quite no what to do. I knew that if I did press charges the last few weeks of my schooling would be hell and my father would never support or help me in that effort.

But on the other hand I couldn't stand the thought of the school getting away with what had happened. It was a real conundrum and I didn't really know where to start or what to think. I talked it over with Tim and we both were pretty much stumped as to the best course of action.

By the time we stopped talking it was starting to get cold and dark. The people that had been walking their dogs and milling around had mostly left now and there were just a few people left there now. A few middle aged guys would stare at us as they walked past, as would some younger guys around our age. We ignored their looks assuming that they were shocked at seeing two guys being so close together.

Tim looked at his watch and let out a soft fuck. It was nearly five thirty and we had promised his mother we would have dinner with her a six. I looked searchingly at his eyes trying to decipher what was going on his head and asked him what was so special about today's date. His face fell for a moment and he said it was a really long story and he would tell me later, but we had better hurry up or his mother would get really upset.

Sitting in the car on the way back I went through so many scenarios in my head about what the date meant that pretty soon I was even more confused before. As we drove down Tim's driveway I could see some other cars parked in front of the house and wondered whose they were. We put the car in the garage and made our way towards the house. I gently took Tim's hand in mine and reached to kiss him while we were still outside, a gentle kiss to say thank you, I love you and I will always love you. With a deep breath we pushed the side door open and went into the house.


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