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life at a private school

Chapter One

The skin on his smooth tanned chest was dimpled with sweat as his powerful legs pushed him forward and threw him into the air. His hands closed around the ball and he fell back to the ground with a whoosh as his entire body jerked and every muscle on this athletic stud rippled.

I was in a state of perpetual wonder as I watched Tim on the rugby field playing a game of touch football with the other boys in my year. Tim had been the secret object of my desire ever since I had started at the school two years before. And why wouldnít he be? He was a typical Australian private school boy in his final year of school. He was 17 a born athlete, just over six feet tall with dark hair that hung seductively over his eyes and brown eyes that seemed to stare right through to your very soul. His chest was smooth and rippled with muscles that I could tell came from all the sports that he loved to play and was crowned with small dark nipples that were like little pencil erasers. His ripped stomach looked as though you could really wash clothes on it with muscles that I just wanted to slide my tongue along. But the thing that made my stomach knot in a mixture of fear and desire was his face, it was the face of a boy becoming a man, smooth and perpetually flushed with the glow of youth. I desperately wanted to run my fingertips over Timís cheekbones that seemed to accentuate his boyishly rugged face.

I was in total lust with this boy, but I donít even think he knew I was alive, let alone knew that I would crawl over broken glass for just a single chance with the school hero. Yep, he was the most popular kid in school, caption of the first XV, caption of the 1st eleven and even a prefect, he just had it all.

I sat there my legs crossed on the benches overlooking the sports field and felt a mixture of desire, fear and depression as I watched this young god show himself off, totally oblivious to the emotional torment he was putting me through. It wasnít as if I was an ugly bastard or anything, I was just average or so I thought anyway. I suppose I should introduce myself at this point. Iím a seventeen year old blonde haired blue eyed guy, but I look about 15 still. Iím a little under 5 foot 11 slim but not scrawny like I was when I was a kid. When I was growing up I was always the smallest kid in class and so I was always picked on by everyone else, especially by the guys that were really good at sports. Because of this I concentrated on my music instead and kept mainly to myself at school. I wasnít shy exactly, I was just quiet around people that I didnít feel comfortable with and had trouble starting up conversations with kids my own age. Oh I almost forgot my nameís Josh by the way, thatís something else I always do forget things and get carried away in my thoughts.

So here I was at this swanky private school on the North Shore of Sydney surrounded by kids with money and lots of it. My parents had always wanted me to go to a really good school but not being very wealthy I had just gone to the local high school up unitl a couple of years before. My old school had sent me for a scholarship exam and I had actually been offered a full scholarship for the final two years at the school. Now I really felt as though I had to perform really well at school so I worked damn hard and my marks were ok and my parents were really proud of me.

The only problem was that I just didnít fit in to the school at all, I just didnít wear the right clothes or say the right things or go on expensive holidays like all the other boys. I just felt like I was a charity case the whole time and that I shouldnít get in anyoneís way. I kept to myself most of the time and didnt get too involved in any of the schoolís extracurricular activities. The one and only sport that I really like was swimming, mainly because it was such a solitary sport and it was just me against myself. I trained five mornings a week in the school pool and I had even managed to be accepted on the school swimming team. Because of all my swimming my body was at least ok and I had managed to get some sort of definition and was developing into the boy next door type of look.

Even though I knew I was gay and I had accepted the fact that I was different than everyone else around me I still kept it hidden and pretended to be interested in girls and never let on to anyone that I lusted after boys hard cocks and their smooth athletic bodies.

The first time I had ever seen Tim was at the end of the first week at my new school over two years ago. I was walking into the locker room after the swimming squad trials and he had just finished the tryouts for the school rugby team. He had taken off his rugby jersey and was absently rubbing his shoulder which was a little bit swollen. I reached down to pick up my towel which had slipped out of my hand and as I looked up I saw a vision of male beauty that made my heart skip a beat and my head start to pound. I donít know why but I just passed clean out right there in the middle of the locker room.

As I slolwly came to I had no idea where I was or what I was doing. As my eyes started to focus I was staring straight up into brown eyes that I just wanted to melt into. As the fog started to lift from my frazzled mind I realised that I was lying in my speedos on the cold floor of the locker room and my head was cradled in this angels arms. I felt my face start to sting as I blushed a deep crimson and looked down to see that all I had on were my speedos.

His lips were moving and it took me a moment to understand that he was asking me if I was ok, a concerned look on his face and about five other guys were all staring at me. I was so embarrassed I just wanted to close my eyes and die. Mr Richards the swim coach came in and leaned down and asked what had happened. I was still in a total daze and I could only just look up stare. I couldnít believe that I had fainted and this absoluted stud as cradling me in his arms. I was so close to his nipples that I could have leant up and licked them. I could feel his heartbeat against my cheek and I could smell his hot musky scent of sweat and musk. I closed my eyes and I felt so safe and so secure.

I was taken to the school nurse who looked me over and suggested I should go home and organised for my parents to come and collect me. The school nurse knew that I was a diabetic and assumed that I was in some sort of hypoglycemic shock, I was in a sort of shock but not from my diabetes, although my blood sugar levels were all over the place. I was in lust with this boy who I had only seen for the first time less than an hour before.

Pulling myself out of my daydreams of that day two years before I pulled myself together and scored a try (or was it a goal - I certainly didnít , I was into swimming and the only reason I was watching this game was because I was waiting for the school musical practice to begin at 5pm as I was in the orchestra playing violin. The only reason I was in the stupid musical was because you guessed it Tim was in the orchestra as well. For everybody else the musical was the social event of the school year with the one thing that almost all the boys missed all day. Girls.

You might think that I was stalking this poor guy, well I wasnít, in the two years since my embarrassing episode in the locker room I had hardly had a dozen conversations with the object of my nightly masturbation fantasies. Every time he saw me I would blush and turn away in total fear that he would think I was some sort of freak and laugh at me.

Yeah I know what you are thinking, dumb nerd in lust after the school stud, and thatís the way I felt as well. I finally dragged myself away from the field and pushed my hands in my pockets to rearrange my hard cock which was straining to be let out. I gently massaged the head of my seven incher through the thin fabric of school trousers and shuddered as tingles shot though my body and my nipples hardened and brushed against the soft fabric of my shirt. God I was horny and frustrated as all hell. I contemplated going to the music centre toilets and jerking off but decided to save it and wait till I was at home and could relax on my bed and replay every moment of Timís superb body while I slowly jerked myself off imagining what I would do with him.

I sighed and slowly walked across the quadrangle towards the hall where the rehearsal was held. I just had to find a way to get to know him, but I could never build up the guts to actually start talking to him.

After the rehearsal I packed up my violin and made my way to the door saying goodbye to people along the way. I was almost out of the door when someone called out my name (I do that itís something to do my with diabetes although I hadnít done it again since the locker room incident). Tim stood there with his dark silky hair hanging down over his eyes. I turned bright red and started to sweat, I was worried that he had seen me perving at him with his shirt off and he was going to have a go at me.

Instead he said "hey Josh, um do think I could get a lift off you, my car has a flat tyre and um um would it be ok?"

I couldnít believe it he was actually asking me something, I kind of just nodded dumbly and managed to croak out ok. Dad had let borrow his car so I could get home without having to walk for three quarters of an hour from the station. I knew Tim lived somewhere near me because I had often seen him on the train but I didnít know that he knew I lived in the same direction to me, I suppose tonight was a night of suprises so I didnít read too much into it. I couldnít think of anything intelligent to say to him and I just kept on agreeing with everything he said. As we got near my car I finally asked how come he didnít ask one of the girls he had been chatting with all night to give him a lift home. He knid of shrugged his shoulders and said that his ex girlfriend had offered him a lift home, but she wanted something that he didnít. I wondered what he meant when I reached the car and clicked the alarm off.

As we hopped in the car I caught a sideways glance as he gave me a strange look and for a moment our eyes met and we both looked away. I blushed and hoped that he couldnít see the desire written all over my face. The radio sprang to life and my favorite song came on the radio, Fantasy by Black Box, "every man has a dream every man.".

Tim gave a yell and started to bop along to the music, I just kept on thinking of what my fantasy was and how close my total fantasy stud was to me at that moment. The song came to en end and Tim turned the radio down a bit so we could talk.

He started to ask me how the swimming was going and I was shocked that he even remembered that I was on the school team. Suddenly I found myself talking to him as though I had known him for years and years and we were the best of friends. We had so much in common, we both like the same sort of music and both had the same taste in clothes, although I could only dream about ever buying some of them. I was laughing so hard at something funny he said that I almost missed my turn off the highway. I looked in the mirror and caught sight of Tim looking at me again in that funny way.

Finally he asked me about why I had fainted that time in the locker room. Up until that point I had never told anyone at school about being a diabetic and I went a bright shade of red and my hands started to sweat on the wheel of the car.

I just decided to tell him, I thought what the heck I said that Iím an insulin dependent diabetic and that I hadnít eaten enough that day that was all, missing out the bit about being totally stunned by the site of him, after all I was in the closet and I really didnít want him to know that I lusted after his hot bod. He thought it over for a few moments and then said he was sorry. It was the usual reaction from people and I told him that it was cool it was just something I lived with but I would prefer that he didnít spread it around the school, because I already felt like a freak.

Tim sat there when I said that I thought I was some sort of freak and he bit the bottom of his lip in a really sexy way and said, "I donít think youre a freak, youríe a great guy just shy, but thatís cool".

We were stopped at a set of traffic lights and I turned to him with tears in my eyes and I just started to tell him how I felt so out of place at school among all the kids whose parents had tonnes of money and were so cool. His beautiful brown eyes just stared at me and he gently squeezed my leg as a solitary tear fell down and fell on his hand. All these feelings just started pouring out at him.

I was totally losing it in front of the guy that I was in total lust over and I was just so embaresed by it all. He took his hand off my leg and I drove off in a total daze. He directed me to his house without saying much as I pretended to concentrate on the road, but all the while I could feel his eyes looking at me and I could see him biting his lower lip like he was deep in thought.

As we pulled up outside his house he reached into his bag and pulled out a scrap of paper and a pen and scrawled his name and number on it and then handed it to me. He then jumped out of the car without saying a word and then as he started close the door he leaned in and asked if I wanted to come in for a drink or something to say thanks for the lift. I really wanted to go in, but I felt so confused and blurted out that I was tired and really ought to get home. His parents were away and he said that he wouldnít mind some company for a while. Since it was Friday night and I didnít have to be up for swimming training in the morning so I knew that I didnít have to wake up early.

My mind was telling me not to stay out of fear of really losing it in front of him and doing something I would regret, but my boyish hormones had already taken control and my cock was starting to respond to the possibilities, but I quickly reminded myself that he was straight and had just broken up with his girlfriend and there was no way he was like me.

I asked him if it was cool to call my parents and tell them I would be home later and he suggested that I stay over cause he had some beer in the fridge and he really didnít like being alone in the house while his parents and sisters where away.

I was having real trouble believing my ears, that he was actually almost begging me to stay over at his place, me the freak. The object of all my fantasies and nightly jerk off sessions was inviting me to spend time with him. I was in heaven and I had to shake my head to check that I was awake and not dreaming.

I just knew that I had to accept, after all just spending time with him was what I had been wishing and dreaming about ever since I had first seen him in the locker room. And I knew that I could control myself and not make some sort of faggy scene.


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