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reclaiming austin

Chapter Twelve

Monday Morning I was still confused, lost, and perplexed; WHAT had happened? Was it officially over between Austin and I now because `He'd 'decided it? What gave him the damned right to decide a SECOND time to end our relationship? Did He have any right to give me away? Would this make it ok between Jason and I now? Should I even fucking care?

I was working on the drive through windows with Marika that morning, She knew something was wrong and by 9:30 I had spilled the entire story to her. She asked me a bunch of questions all of which I answered with a shrug and "I don't know."

Finally she shook her head and said, "Child, I bet you are one good singer cause you have one SERIOUSLY fucked up life right now."

I grinned at her and said, "Yeah, well you sing too, so how screwed up is your life?"

"I sing Gospel baby, all I need is faith and the HOLY spirit." She said with a fierce grin.

"Too bad, I could really use a back up singer, you want me to help screw up your life? I'm really good at it."

"Baby, most a that ain't your fault. Austin's the one who done broke your heart." She said with a deep southern accent. Sometimes She sounded like a character out of the Color Purple.

"I'm serious Marika, You wanna perform on stage with me? My Friend Phil is gunna join me with his Spanish Guitar, Saturday. I bet we could do some great music," I said enticingly.

"How are you gunna do Gospel songs with a couple of guitars?" Marika asked with an arched eyebrow.

"Well, I can play some Aretha, Dusty Springfeild, maybe we could do a little Toni Braxton?" I offered.

"You're serious?" She asked as she lowered her head and fixed me a sharp gaze.

"Come over to my house about 6:30 and find out," I teased.

"Make it 5:30, serve dinner, and you got a deal." Marika said confidently as our first customer pulled up.


I got to my apartment at a little after 4:30 and noticed I had a few messages. The messages were as follows:

"Alex, this is Ryan, I really need to talk to you, I-I- We really need to talk, call me back when you get home." DELETE.

"Dude, what the hell???" Phil said on the next message.

"I had to tip the male stripper dude, so what's all that about? I'll see you in a while man."


Jason's deep voice was next, "Hey baby, Jorge and Henna called me and said they'd like to get together with us on Thursday for dinner and to see about your new guitar. Oh, and wish me luck, a talent agent called about a possible job. I'll tell you about it tomorrow."

And then in a sweet voice he added "I hope you're doing better now baby. I'll call you tomorrow." Then he made a kissing sound and hung up.


The last message was from Michael and was left only a few minutes before I got home,

"You are a stupid bastard you know that? All he wanted to do was talk dumbshit.

Do you have ANY control of your drama reflex at all? I hope things work out with Jason cause you just lost any chance you had with Austin. And then in a softer almost sweet voice he said,

"Call me when you get a chance ho."


I couldn't help it, I got really angry with Michael, and I was almost positive Ryan was behind Austin showing up. I was the one who was hurt by Austin; He' s the one who left me without an explanation. Why were they trying to make me look like the bad guy?

I stewed over this as I made a grilled chicken Caesar salad with grilled foccocia bread Mrs. Tremere had baked that weekend. I set the table for 3, as I had no idea what time Phil was coming over. Marika showed up first wearing a big blue and gold blouse with black pants that looked stunning on her full sized body. She was neither fat nor average sized. Marika was a full sized woman whom carried herself with certainty and dressed with confidence. Sir Mix-a-lot had a song about women built like Marika. And Aretha paved the way for women who carried them selves like her. After waiting a few minutes we sat down to eat. Phil showed up a half hour later and said he'd already eaten.

I helped unload a few of Phil's guitars, as he had a whole collection and I only had the one, which was broken. Phil and Marika hit it off great, as they were both natural flirts and out-going, gregarious people. I served a white zinfandel as we sat down in my living room to get comfy and get ready to practice a little.

After bouncing a few ideas around I asked Marika if she knew any Simon and Garfunkle,. She didn't, but reminded me that I had said I knew some Aretha. I remembered then that Aretha had done a cover of Bridge Over Troubled Waters. Marika was excited as she not only knew that song but had sung it in church recently. So Phil and I strummed around the piano parts and actually made a decent little song by about 10:00. We all agreed we needed to find a good keyboard player to make that song sound right along with almost any other song Marika would sing. We agreed to meet at 7:30 the next day as I was taking Mrs. Tremere out to dinner. Before he left, I refunded Phil for the stripper he'd paid even though he tried refusing. I told him I'd tell him what was going on as soon as I figured it all out. They went home and I went to bed.

By noon on Tuesday, everyone at the bank had been invited to our "concert". Even Mr. Riley, our branch supervisor was going to come. I gave Marika the sheet music and words before we left for the day. I quickly headed home to get ready to take Mrs. Tremere out for dinner.

I checked on Mrs. Tremere to see if she was getting ready before I went to my apartment to shower. She was already doing her hair and just called out to me that she was nearly done.

After showering and dressing in a nice sport coat and sharp slacks, I Went over to Mrs. Tremere's apartment and knocked on her door, She came out all done up in a gorgeous light cream colored dress with gold and mother of pearl applets and beading across the material. She wore a strand of pearls which looked stunning on her coffee and cream skin. [you could say "rich mocha skin" if ya wanna sound exotic] She carried a small gold handbag and had her hair up in a meticulous coif. I was wearing a basic white dress shirt, dark slacks and sports coat. I felt as if I were slumming next to her. But she carried herself so well I would have seemed shabby even if I'd worn Armani I took her to the Chart House in Daytona Beach; it was probably the nicest restaurant this side of Orlando. I had made reservations from work and we were seated as soon as we walked in. I asked her to pick the wine as I was just leaving my fraternity beer days.

"So, you are using this performance to get out of cooking lessons yes?" She asked before tasting her wine.

I felt like a little kid being scolded even though she hadn't changed her voice an iota.

"I have to this week, you heard us last night, we really need practice. Next week I will schedule a day to cook. How about next Tuesday? I'll keep Tuesdays open till you turn me into Julia Child." I offered cheerfully.

"It is not enough time, but for now that will do, later on I expect more evenings from you. Oui?" She asked with a face and voice of Jasmine blossoms and diamond plate steel.

I laughed at loud and said, "Why do you ask when we both know I don't have a choice?"

She smiled at me with a full grin and said, "So smart my Alex. I find that most men like to believe they have a choice, I keep forgetting that you are sometimes a daughter as well as a son to me. What man would see things as clearly as you?"

Just then a very serious waiter delivered an appetizer of Risotto stuffed portabella mushroom caps with smoked turkey topped by broiled kasseri cheese. Mrs. Tremere seemed so happy as she ate without having to worry about "pedestrian food";. Somehow I couldn't picture her eating a Big Mac or Taco Bell.

"So talk to me about Austin and Jason Mon fils. ((my son)) You wear your confusion like a big velvet cloak for all to see," Mrs. Tremere observed before ordering a nice Pino Grigio. "You will like this wine Alex, it is sweet and sharp and will make your fish taste even better," She said setting the wine list down to give me her full attention.

"What is there to say Mon Ch`eri? Austin left me without a bloody word two months ago, then showed up this past weekend as if nothing had happened. I'm with Jason now, he's gay, he's secure in his sexuality, he makes me laugh, and he's bigger," I said-- then looked up as our eyes locked and we both started to grin.

"Taller, I meant taller!" I giggled, then began to blush before mumbling, "Well, that too!"

"I think Jason looks at you the way you once looked at Austin," Mrs. Tremere offered.

"Austin is no more Mrs. Tremere. He destroyed any chance we may have had. Let him and his girl friend spend the rest of their happy little lives together," I said with perhaps a little too much vehemence.

"Yeeeees, if you keep saying that perhaps one day you might even believe it is so." She said dismissively.

"Then what would you have me do?" I pleaded like a four year old asking for a cookie.

"Mon cheri, that is not for me to say. This decision you must make on your own. I think though, that you have still to resolve things with Austin. I think you do not yet have all the information to make the decision you must," she said as I poured our wine

I handed her a glass of wine and moaned, "Can't I just send him an invite to our wedding?"

"Mon fils, you are 27 now, you may do as you wish. I just give you my thoughts."

I took a drink of wine, as I ran that around my brain.

"And you're right... I just don't want to hurt Jason, if he knew I was talking to Austin, he'd be so worried-- even if he didn't say anything to me."

Mrs. Tremere put her hand softly on mine.

"You, Austin, even the precocious Jason, all are grown men and will work this out as adults non?."

I looked sadly into her eyes, "I hope so Mon Ami, I hope so."

She smiled a warm friendly smile. "Dear," She said, placing her hand over mine on the table. "Every thought you have, every emotion, you wear like a shiny set of plate mail, a suit of armor. If Jason does not sense your confusion and hesitancy yet, he will soon. I think part of being man, regardless of whom you sleep with, is taking charge of these situations."

She removed her hand after giving mine a quick loving squeeze.

"I wish I knew what to do, I have these nightmares all the time about Austin still, or Jason turning into Austin..." I took a sip of wine and reflected,

"Austin made a choice. How long am I expected to wait for him to possibly change his mind? It's been over two months."

"Alex, one day two months will seem as two weeks, it's not so long. I think that there is yet more to all this than you or I know..." she said.

I wanted to say something but her look told me she had made up her mind and arguing was futile. I finished my glass of wine as the food was being served. We each had beautiful pieces of wood grilled Ahi tuna, seared zucchini with sesame oil, and French gnocci with assiago cheese and lemon basil sauce.

"Are you coming to see us on Saturday night?" I asked as I cut my fish.

"Oui, I would miss you and Phillip Mon fils? Non, I will be there."

"Mrs. Tremere, how long has it been since you were in France?" I asked, changing the subject.

"Fifteen years. Since my husband Onre died, I have had little reason to go back. Why do you ask, my Alex?"

"I was just wondering... we always talk about me and my guys, we don't ever discuss you finding a guy of your own. How come you don't ever go and find your own guy Mon Ch`eri? fifteen years is long enough to morn," I said looking her in her hazel eyes.

"Alex, I am 57 years old. This is your time, you find romance and the perfect guy. I have had my man and all the romance one woman needs in a life time. You are all the man I need now Mon Cher," she said sweetly.

"Ohhhhh Mrs. Tremere, I said a man, not a little gay boy," I said, putting my hand on the table in a grandiose show of solace. Then I changed my expression and sat upright with a grin. "That's IT!" I announced with satisfaction.

"You teach me to cook, cause that's what you do best, and I'll find you a man cause that's..." I fixed my imaginary tie, "What I do best!" I said with a self depreciative smile..

"But my beautiful Alex, what will I do with another homosexual in my life? You fill all my gay quotas, mon chere," She said with a twinkle in her eye and a smile on her lips.

"I was thinking something in the over Forty straight category, if that's alright with you of course," I said, stabbing a chunk of fish and dipping it in the sauce it was served in.

"You are trying to pass me off I think Alex?" Mrs. Tremere asked, grinning as she ate gnocchi.

"Nooooooo, I just think you should have a guy to wine and dine you when I'm off being naughty," I said, looking up at her with a grin.

"Oui, but I think you are not as naughty as you think you are my sweet," She countered with a grin as she set her fork down.

I held my glass up in a toast to her, "To you meeting a nice guy and me getting to be naughty more often."

We clinked out glasses together and drank. Our conversation next went to food and what her plans were... She told me certain things I should buy for proper equipment. Next then, we discussed everything from her family, of which there were few left, to my music, which she liked surprisingly. She looked and acted like the classical and crooner type. Who knew she owned Fleetwood Mac, every Motown album ever made, and Pink Floyd. I commented about how I needed to begin working out more than twice a week if I wanted to stay my size after eating this dessert and learning to bake like Mrs. Tremere.

After a long leisurely dessert and coffee, we walked a bit to allow the wine to burn off. We listened to a French tape with Gregorian monks set to rock beats called Enigma on NPR. We both agreed we were getting the cd's

Marika and Phil were already at my apartment when I pulled up and we all talked a little before Mrs. Tremere went home and we all got ready for our run through. Afterwards, we worked on Dusty Springfield's `Son of a Preacher Man'.

Marika's gospel trained voice added a phenomenal sound to the song. I had a basic folksy, Cat Steven's like voice. Phil only sung background. But Marika, would have stolen the show no matter what audience we had.

Marika said a little after the song. "I think I have a keyboardist for us, I'll try to get him over tomorrow, or maybe we can go there."

She didn't say it, but I think we all knew several of our songs, along with her voice, required piano music at the least to maximize it's potential.

We were all quite pleased with ourselves as we finished about 10:30, we now had two songs worked out and would do another the next day and one on Friday... We planned to save our "group set" for the last act, to end with a bang. Although Phil knew most of my songs and he'd accompany me wherever he felt he could.

Wednesday I had a lunchtime call from Michael. "Where the hell have you been bitch?" he asked with sincere annoyance.

"I got your message, I didn't feel like talking with you since you made yourself pretty clear. `Happy Birthday' by the way, hope you liked the new sheets." I had left the sheets at his apartment when I ran out.

"Will you fucking grow up? Christ, with all the action you've seen lately, I know you have some balls," Michael said in sincere irritation.

"Listen Michael, Mrs. Tremere already convinced me I needed talk to Austin. If he's staying with one of you, go on and send him over," I said, trying to counter his mood and trying to stave off my temper. Twice in the past the two had barely managed to miss destroying our friendship.

"He took off after he saw Jason. Ryan was there and he told me what happened." Michael said simply.

"Fuck! Listen, I was just avoiding talking to you because I've been so busy with practicing for the Seattle Scene. And I'm really hating the idea that I need to talk with Ryan still," I said with sad resignation.

"What do you mean you're practicing for the Seattle Scene?" Michael asked confused.

"I played there last week. No one at the party told you? I asked, shocked it hasn't gotten to Michael, and then I remembered his disappearing act. I added quickly,

"Well maybe if Dan's dick hadn't filled your ears with sticky stuff..." I said snidely, but with a hint of humor in my voice.

"You are a hateful and jealous bitch. All we did was discuss Politics. And you left right after we went in, how do you know how long we were talking?"

"Well for one thing Michael, I find it hard to believe you said much since I saw his dick buried in your mouth. For another, I knew the stripper wasn't scheduled till 11:30, and Phil had to pay him. Soooooo..." I stated smugly.

"Was that you who locked the doors?" Michael asked, apparently dropping the denial line of defense.

"Who did you think it was?! Most of the guys would have opened the door and gotten everyone to look." I stated.

"Thanks I guess... So only you know?" Michael asked.

"No, Ryan and Jason do too, cause they were with me and I couldn't hide my surprise in time, but I warned them not to say anything."

"DAMN, I was wondering who it was and why they didn't say noth'n. Shit, I want everyone to know I finally got Dan-- Twice!"

"I know baby, but I'm pretty sure Dan doesn't. Anyways, I'll call you this weekend and I want every detail, so get your lies in order. Talk to ya soon," I said as I hung up the phone.

Nothing much happened that day; we practiced and got a pretty cool version of `Leaving on a Jet Plane.' Marika's trained gospel voice was a new and fantastic addition to that old standard. We also began practicing Toni Braxton's Unbreak my Heart. Marika's friend was going to be there Friday with his key Board so we did what we could and Phil did a wonderful job on his Spanish Guitar.

Thursday morning, I received a call at work from Jason, he was making sure we were still going to meet up at the Seattle Scene after work.

"Hey, I got some great news, I'd like to take you out to eat before we go guitar shopping ok?" Jason offered excitedly.

"What? What is it?" I asked.

"A surprise sweetheart, which means I can't tell you now! I'll tell you all about it over dinner. Think of where you want to go, some place nice. I have a few ideas if you think of something," Jason said into the phone, more excited than I'd ever heard him.

"Ok honey, I'll be down about 6:00, but I have to go, we're busy and Mr. Riley is glaring at me. See you soon. (Sound of kissing)."

Work went by quickly that day, Marika and I were gabbing and whenever there wasn't a customer in drive through, we'd practice our harmony. I Asked Mr. Riley if I could come in an hour late the next day and he agreed with out comment. I figured I might spend the night at Jason's.

I went home, showered, and changed into some nice casual clothes as soon as I left work. I packed an overnight bag and was on the road by 5:45. On the road down I was wondering how to tell Jason I was thinking about talking to Austin. Jason was older, he was really easy going, I just to hope he'd be ok with it.

I saw his car in the parking lot as I pulled into the Seattle Scene.

When I walked in I saw a small crowd and then saw Henna at the counter waving to me. I walked over to her and was about to kiss her the cheek when a strong hand went over my eyes and a voice asked, "Guess who, and please don't throw me."

I laughed and felt the large hand on my face, ran my fingers up the long fingers, sniffed the air and said, "Hmmmm, I smell fishy hands. It's either Jacques Cousteau or Jason Brennan." Then I ran my hand over his arm and said with a big mischievous grin, "Definitely Jason."

I turned to kiss him and he said, "Sorry about that, I was feeding the dolphins today and..."


" one of the new dolphins. It takes forever to get the smell out."


We kissed a second then I remembered a trick Mrs. Tremere taught me. "Henna, do you have any lemons and some cold coffee?" I asked. Both she and Jason gave me odd looks.

"Now that's a new one, never heard of that drink before baby, but yeah, we have both."

"Not to drink Henna, he washes with the lemons and then soaks his hand for a minute in the cold coffee, it'll remove the fish smell."

So Jason went around the counter and did as I said while Henna and I talked about whom we were seeing after dinner. Although Henna and Jorge had been invited, She said they were going to stay here until we got back and then we'd go to her friend 's house.

When Jason came back he had his usual big ol grin on as he walked up to me. I grabbed his hand and sniffed it, then wrapped my lips around the pointer and sucked it into my mouth as I looked up at him.

"Mmmmmmm, Jawa..." I mumbled with my mouth full of finger.

"Man, you two are perfect together," Jorge said as he walked in from outside laughing. Jason and Henna laughed too as I let Jason's fingers slip from my mouth and yanked on his shirt so he'd bend over so I could kiss him.

"You decided where we're going yet hon?" Jason asked after wrapping his arms around me and lifting me to his face.

"Is there any place that'll let me sit on your lap while we feed each other?" I asked then kissed him softly.

"Yeah, but I wanted to eat out," Jason said with a smirk.

"Little Saigon?" I asked.

Jason began laughing hysterically and Henna and Jorge did too. Jason finally said, "I owe Michael a dollar. He swore that given any opportunity you would always pick little Saigon." I shrugged with a blush.

"How about Ichibon, over on Orange?" Jason countered.

"That's cool, haven't been there in a while," I said.

So we said goodbye and I drove us to Orange Ave, which wasn't very far away at all. After we were seated in a nice cozy corner, Jason ordered drinks then gave me a funny grin.

"What?" I asked.

"How'd ya like to date an underwear model?" Jason asked with an arched eyebrow and a grin.

Feeling the need to be a little dense, I ignored the implication, "Well, I'd be lying if I told you I hadn't been eyeing this "International Male" underwear model named David Johnson," I said off handedly.

"What about a local underwear model?" Jason tried again.

"Well sure, but I'm kinda dating this fishy smelling dolphin trainer now," I teased. He caught on finally and teased back,

"Well Hell, I'm dating a rock star, but I'd sure wanna date an underwear model," he said, looking at the ceiling out of the corners of his eyes as he stuck his tongue into his cheek and tried to look nonchalant.

"Are you trying to tell me something or deflate my ego big guy?" I finally asked him directly.

His face got a huge grin and he took my hand. "I'm hoping to inflate your ego baby, cause as of yesterday afternoon, you ARE dating an underwear model," Jason said with unleashed enthusiasm.

"Oh my god! How?! What?! When?!" I began asking as the waiter came over to take our order.

Jason turned to the waiter and began ordering for us when I got too excited, turned to the waiter and blurted, "My boyfriend just got a job as an underwear model, would you please bring us a realllllly nice bottle of wine and give us a few moments please?"

The poor waiter, a nice enough looking guy in his 20s, probably my age, blushed and said `sure', then left.

"That was a little rude honey," Jason said. He was right and I didn't even try to dispute that,

"But I want to hear all about it, I want to tell everyone.! And I can't believe you are taking me to celebrate! I should be taking you out. Well, I'm going to pay for the wine at least. I wish I'd known, I'd have gotten something really nice. So tell me all about it!" I blurted out excitedly.

Jason got a bemused `you are so cute' look on his face and said, "Well, I did this photo shoot for a photographer a few years ago, he did it for free cause I let him take a lot of pictures he never showed in his book," At which point he shot me a knowing wink.

"Anyways, he sent it to an agency and I did one shoot for a car add in 95. And anyway, I got this call to come in and try out for an underwear add for a local agency."

"YEAH???" I asked encouraging him to continue.

Jason laughed at me and added, "And, they had me come in and model some underwear along with about 20 other guys, and they picked 4 of us to use. I'll be in flyers in Sunday papers, catalogs, and probably do a few shows. And it pays pretty good." He said grinning like he was on a drug high.

"Baby, that is soooo awesome, I wanna jump in your arms and kiss you till you black out right now." I said in a low voice so I didn't embarrass him any more than I had with our waiter, who was brining a bottle of wine back over.

When the waiter sat the bottle down with two glasses, "I hope the two of you enjoy this, Congratulations!" He said as he skillfully poured our glasses of wine.

He then took our orders, which Jason gave. At first I was a little upset that Jason hadn't even asked me, then I realized he was picking almost exactly what I would have ordered. We'd talked about different types of food and apparently he had listened better than I thought and wanted to demonstrate this fact. I gave him a wink and a big smile when he was done.

"Did I do alright?" He asked.

"Baby, you did awesome... I have to figure out what I can do to show you how much I care about you now," I said with a big grin. I knew my eyes were twinkling by the look on his face.

"Alex, you don't have to do anything baby, I love to do things for you. I love that kid-like look you get."

I blushed and batted my eyes coyly and he laughed at me, then we talked about my performing with Phil and Marika and about work. We talked all through dinner and when we were done, our waiter brought out two tempura fried cheesecakes and said, "I told our managers about your celebration and they want you to have this on the house." He said as he sat them before us and left.

"Well that's nice, we have to try this more often!" I said with a giggle.

"Quiet you, and eat your cheesecake!" Jason said grinning.

We thanked the waiter and asked him to thank his manager for us. After we'd finished we gave him our credit cards, I insisted on buying the wine. Afterwards we walked around Lake Eola twice then got in my jeep and headed back to the Seattle Scene.

"You ready to leave yet?" Jason asked as we walked in. Henna handed her keys to a young woman and gave her a few instructions then the four of us got in my jeep and were off to Winter Park.

When we got there we waked up an old walkway to a canary yellow and gray house that was probably built in the 1800s. The house had been restored wonderfully but the garden had had been allowed to revert back to wilderness. An older hippie dressed in a Homer Simpson T-shirt invited us into his front porch.

"Roscoe, how are you old man?" Henna asked as she stepped and hugged the guy warmly.

He hugged her back then brushed his long silver hair out of his eyes. "How ya doin' Jorge?" He asked as he shook Jorge's hand. Jason and I were introduced and he shook our hands and invited us into his house. It wasn't so much a house as a workshop filled with woods and tools and workspaces.

"I make dulcimers, banjoes, and guitars. Come on to my back room and take a look at the ones I've finished," Roscoe said with another wipe to his forehead as he turned and walked to the back of his house.

We went to the back and in a large room, which must have been a dining room at one point; Roscoe had shelves and displays full of guitars.

"Go ahead and pick them up, try them out and see which one you like dude. Can I get anyone drink while he's looking?"

As I picked one after another up, I saw a few really sharp guitars I liked, ones with inlaid teak, mahogany, cherry and other shaded woods. Roscoe brought beers back for Jason, Jorge, and himself, and Pepsis for Henna and I. Then he and the rest of them got stoned while I went from one guitar to the next. I played Dust in the Wind by Kansas as my test song. They were having a great time when suddenly Roscoe stood up and told me to follow him upstairs.

Up in a room that had even more guitars in it, he said, "Hey Dude, you seem to have a good ear, try out a few of these. If ya find one you like, bring it down."

Then he clapped me on the back and went back downstairs. There were some totally gorgeous guitars up here, a couple of real show pieces that looked more like sculpture then musical instruments. So I brought my four favorites down and into the dining room with everyone sitting around. I had 3 really fancy guitars, which I played first and everyone seemed to like, then I played a very plain guitar for a minute.

Roscoe got a big smile across his cypress features. "Ya know your shit man, that's one of the best guitars I've ever made, nobody takes it or even tries it cause it's so plain. But it has a perfect sound."

And it did. I ran through a few songs, even singing a little before saying this was the one I wanted.

"So how much this gunna cost me? I asked, even though Henna and Jorge had offered to pay, I figured I'd at least make the offer.

"It's already been taken care of Alex, you just hafta come back and play every weekend." Henna said warmly.

I smiled and said, "Actually, Saturday I'm coming down with two, possibly three other performers. We've been working on the show all week." So I talked about Marika and Phil and possibly a keyboard player coming down. "If I knocked your socks off, Marika's voice and Phil's guitar are going to blow all your clothing off." I teased.

Jason came over and nuzzled me where I was playing and said, "I'm not taking my clothes off unless you do first!"

We stayed another hour or so, while they passed a bowl around and got stoned and I played my new guitar. I asked Roscoe if the guitar had a name yet, he said it hadn't been baptized so her name wasn't set yet.

"Does it have to be a girl's name?" I asked.

Roscoe laughed and shook his head, "No man, just most guitar players are guys, and... you know?"

So I played "Lovin that Man" and said proudly, "This is Jason." Jason beamed and almost blushed. Everyone else smiled. Finally we got ready to leave and I thanked Roscoe several times before we left.

Back at the club we stayed for a while and had our respective coffees and I played a set of songs on my guitar for the audience and Jason announced I would be back Saturday for a longer evening. We each drove ourselves back to Jason' s apartment and I was glad that this time I remembered walking in and where everything was.

"It's 10:30, you wanna stay awake a little longer or get to bed?" Jason asked, as he carried my bag in and sat it in front of his bedroom door.

"I don't know, what do you wanna do?" I casually asked, taking a close look around for the first time.

"Hmmmmmm, That depends on if you're staying till Sunday or going home tomorrow morning." Jason said as he walked up behind me, grabbed me, and pulled me against him.

"I can stay a little late tomorrow, but I hafta go to work," I said as I leaned against him and felt his body begin to shape itself around me blending into every contour of my form.

After a few moments I was spun around and lifted by my ass till we were face to face. "We better get to bed now then Hmmm?" Jason asked, with a dangerously sexy arch of his eyebrow and a predatory glint in his eye as he carried me to his bedroom.

I got a big grin then kissed him, then as he opened the door I leaned in and kissed him deeply. "Ok!" I offered enthusiastically.

He walked me up to his bed and toppled like a tree, capturing me underneath of him. "This weekend you are so mine, I hope you like it down there?" he said as he lowered himself to kiss me. I moaned my response as I wrapped my arms and legs around Jason and pulled him to me.

After a few minutes of intense kissing and roaming hands, his hands slid down the back of my pants, he lifted his head out of my reach and grinned, "No underwear?"

I grinned back and blushed a little, "No, you're the underwear model baby."

Jason grinned and said, "You are so fucking adorable... I may not let you leave tomorrow."

I looked up at him with a coy grin, "Ok."

Jason looked down at me with flaming eyes for a second then stood up on the side of the bed and began stripping me. A moment later I was writhing on the bed as his very large hands ran from my face to feet and back again...

I looked up into peridot green eyes and swooned as Jason threw off his shirt and climbed back on top of me. He bent down and ran his tongue around my sensitive ear lobe and said in a low gravelly voice,

"I want you in so many ways, I want to spend all night slowly screwing you till you beg for me to let you cum. I want to find new ways I can show you how much I care about you Alex. I want you; I want you to be mine. I want you to think of me and get hard. I want you to think about me and panic because you can't get to me soon enough. The same way I think about you."

And then we kissed and kissed till our lips were sore and the temperature in the room rose ten degrees. Not sure how much time passed, but when we stopped, Jason was naked and rubbing his leaky cock all over my belly and thighs.

I reached down and jacked him for a few minutes before he said, "I think your friend wants to go inside out of the cold." And then he gave me a kiss and slid to one side while his hand rode down my body and lifted my leg in the air and brought it to my chest. "I love how limber you are, I have so many plans for things we can try... God, I want you so bad!!!" He said in my ear with hot breath, making my toes curl.

I grinned up at him and then slipped my hands off of him and laid them on the bed over my head with my wrists crossed. "I'm all yours big man."

Jason's head rose up and he looked at my hands then back at my face and his eyebrow arched in uncertainty, "Are you sure?"

Despite a lot of reservations and a bad experience a long time ago, I nodded my ascent. A smile crept across his face and he reached over to his top drawer and brought out something metal. One of my wrists was then cuffed and then stretched over my head and passed through his barred headboard. My other wrist was then cuffed and then Jason got off the bed and looked at me cuffed to his bed.

"You are so damned hot!" he hissed as he shucked my underwear and licking my ears. He asked if I wanted my feet tied up too and I guess my eyes got a little panicky so he just smiled and climbed onto the bed and kneeled between my legs.

"Good, cause I love them wrapped around me or hanging over my shoulder," he said warmly.

I loved how he tried making me feel. He was just a big blond wave of sex and passion that washed over me.

To give you an idea of how large his hands were, with his palm in my armpit, his fingers stretched almost to my elbow

"If I promised to feed you and walk you before and after work, could I just leave you chained here? You look so scrumptious laying there smiling up at me." Jason said before lifting my legs and tossing them over his shoulder.

"You keep this up and you might not need any chains," I said grinning up at him.

"Remind me to give you a raise," Jason said as he lowered himself to kiss me.

I grinned and glanced down my body and caught his eye. "Wow, you work quick Sir!" we broke upon me with a passionate kiss; and as he slid off me to my side he got me so turned on kissing I was almost oblivious to his long finger playing at my hole. But the kiss was even more passionate when it slid inside.

Jason amazed me, where even I wanted to get on to the fucking soon, he was so calm and so well paced. He told me his favorite way to fuck was to take all night and do it slowly... I just wondered if I had it in me... the patience I mean, there was no question about the other thing in me.

Jason finally brought his latex covered cock to my twitching and empty hole. My toes curled up and I melted into his bed as he slowly moved in further and further. This was going to be good. I looked up into his brilliant green eyes and felt I was being pulled inside him. I tried to wrap my arms around him but forgot they were cuffed.

"You look so damn hot that way my little boy!" Jason said down at me with eyes like fiery copper flames.

When Jason had sunk all the way in, he stopped and began kissing me again, deeply, running his huge hands up and down my side. I felt like exploding, my body didn't know how to react to all the stimuli. So I screamed... Jason put his hand over my mouth and asked if I needed something to bite. I nodded yes so he moved up a little and stuck his pecs in my mouth. Ohhh, how I bit and sucked and chewed on his nipple. This made him moan almost as loudly as I had.

Finally he began actually fucking me, in and out, slowly, in total control of every movement. It was nice, I had to give him that. I had a sudden insight as to why he'd only needed a few clients.

After a long time, I guess-- who knew how long this was going on. It didn't much matter I suppose-- Jason pulled out briefly, and uncuffed me. We kissed for a few minutes and then he laid next to me and lifted my leg and came in from below and the rear. Jason lifted my leg like a ballet dancer and slid in all at once, nice and smooth. His lower arm wrapped around under my head and pulled me tight against him.

"This is one of my favorite positions I only do with special guys," Jason said in my ear from behind me as I arched my neck around and he met my gaping, gasping, mouth for a long kiss.

Slow and steady, like a turtle's heart beat, Jason slid all the way in and out, over and over. My toes were curled and my mind was lost... Until finally I realized he was picking up speed. So I turned my head and looked in his eyes with arched brows.

"You need some sleep so you can work tomorrow," Jason said with a smile and a kiss.

I squeezed my ass muscles together and made him smile down at me.

"Good boy, I like that!" He said as he stuck his tongue in my ear and drove me crazy.

I did it every few minutes and each time it made him kiss me. Finally, I tried to get my hand to my cock in time, but my explosion ripped through me like a surprise attack and sent sperm up past my head onto the pillow and then dribbled all over Jason's bed. This made him really pound his point home and in a minute he was buried to the hilt in my ass and hugging me tight with my top knee pressed into my chest as he wrapped me up and came in his condom. Aside from loosening his grip, we didn't move much at first. He shuddered several times, grunted softly, and growled a low rumble into my neck.

"Come on, let's shower before bed," Jason offered after several long minutes of breathing heavy as he withdrew, leaving me feeling empty and vulnerable.

We did and kissed and soaped each other up then toweled each other off. I helped him change the bedding then went and got ready for bed while he closed down his apartment. After brushing our teeth we kissed some more then climbed under his down comforter and I lay in Jason's big arms and occasionally leaned my face in so I could kiss his chest.

"I am so fucking lucky to have met you Jason, could I have asked for a more perfect guy?" I said to the ceiling as he stroked my hair absent-mindedly. "I'm the lucky one Alex, you would have found a guy in a minute if you'd wanted to," Jason said kissing the top of my head.

"Well I wasn't looking and this freaking underwear model comes up and hits on me. That's fucking lucky considering the mood I was in that night."

Jason laughed. "Well Yeah, you were in a major pissy mood. But still, there was something about you that just called, there's some part of you that makes guys want to protect you. Even if you could beat us all up," he said kissing me.

"I won't ever beat you up Jason, unless you want me too..." I snickered as I snuggled tightly against his chest.

"No violence, I don't ever want to hurt you or be hurt by you." Jason swore. It dawned on me what I had to tell him and I shivered inwardly.

"See, how lucky I am?" I said changing my mood on a hairline pivot.

"Still think I'm luckier baby, I get a cute guy, a smart guy, funny, talented as hell, hard worker... sweet. I guess it's true what they say about small packages," Jason said hugging me.

I reached for his semi soft cock gently and squeezed.

"Yeah? Not so much I think, I still prefer larger packages."

"Size queen."

"Na, I'd love it all the way down to five inches. But you can leave those extra four, don't loose those," I said laughing.

"And ya know, it's not like you aren't everyone of those things you mentioned," I replied.

"Ok, funny and looks I grant you, but except for training dolphins or seducing old men, I have no real talents," Jason said wistfully.

"Jason, do you have any idea how many guys only half as good looking as you have turned into flaming ass wipes before they were out of grade school? It's like with most people, good looking and nice are mutually exclusive. It has to be a talent or gift that you are so amazingly attractive, and still a genuinely nice guy." I said as I picked my head up to look him in his darkened eyes.

"I'll tell you the truth Alex, good looks can be a curse as well as a blessing," Jason said ruefully, "Do you know why I was so attracted to you at that party?"


"Because not only did you look like you needed cheering up, but because even after you knew I was gay you didn't start treating me different and hitting on me. Alex, every other gay guy at that party but you and Ryan were dropping hints and flirting with me. Hell, a lot of women were too, including a wife. That's why I went outside to get away."

"Still Jason, that has to be better then being unattractive and never getting anybody."

"I don't know, at least ugly people can have real friends, they don't have to worry about being stalked. How many "ugly" people have been victims of serial killers?" Jason asked.

"Never thought of that." I hugged Jason tightly; I had accidentally hit something inside him. "I'm sorry baby, I didn't mean to hit a nerve." I added,

"If anyone stalks you or tries to hurt you, you know they have to go through me first, right?

"I hope next time you're around then baby," Jason said mysteriously.

"Oh god Jason... I'm sooo sorry... " I wanted to ask but he didn't seem ready to get into it.

"Its ok Alex, You didn't know. Lets get some sleep ok sugar?" Jason asked.

I moved up and gave him a long loving kiss as I lay across his chest. "Night sweetie."

"I love you Alex, Night."

I got such a thrill when he said that.

"Could I be any luckier?" I asked as I hugged him tightly.

Of course after that was a long time before either of us slept, but we were quiet after that.

I slept soundly and was having a dream about Jason, where he kissed me and when I leaned back it was Austin with a bunch of Mylar balloons. He began laughing strangely and trying to hand me the balloons. Fortunately it woke me up to find Jason's alarm going off.

"I don't have to be to work till 2:00 today." Jason said. "And I'm not a French chef, but I could make breakfast if you want my little sugar pop!" He leaned over me and sucked on my ear a second.

"Gotta have my pops!" I giggled as I rolled over trying to forget that dream. I scooted down and began nibbling on his right nipple. "What are you gunna feed me cheesy boy?" I asked between sucking on his nipple.

"Keep that up and you're getting a bowl of KY with latex," Jason said, relaxing into his pillow with pleasure.

We somehow got ourselves out of the bed eventually and he went to the kitchen while I showered again. When I was done I walked out to find about 6 kinds of natural fiber cereal and milk with bowls on the table, sliced banana already in the bowls, and a pot of coffee being put on the table.

"I'm sorry sugar pop, I don't have any eggs or toast." Jason said kissing the top of my head.

I grabbed some oat and nut cereal and filled my bowl then got some coffee. We got set up and Jason said, "I wish you coulda gotten off today, I'd love to take you to work with me."

"You wanna teach me to eat raw fish?" I teased him with a grin.

"You already eat raw fish; sushi?" he grinned.

"Oh yeah...."

We ate and bantered good-naturedly and then brushed our teeth. When we finished, we went to his den and he sat in his big leather chair and pulled me onto his underwear-covered legs. No words, we just kissed and made out for half an hour.

"If we don't stop, you're showing for up work real late and walking funny." Jason said in my ear.

"Mmmmm Hmmmmmm," I sighed wistfully as he ran a hand over my ass.

"You coming back tonight after practice?" Jason asked as he ran a finger up my ass crevice.

"Keep that up and I'll skip work, practice, bathing, reading my mail, and eating..." I said in his ear as I lifted my ass and clung to him tightly.

"That a yes?" he asked as he withdrew his hand. "Come on Alex, I have something I'd like to do with you tomorrow before your concert." Jason added.

"Why are you asking me when you won't give me a chance to say no?" I replied leaning back so I could see his face.

Jason just grinned and said, "You better get dressed sugar pop."

"That's what I thought," I said with a grin as I slid off his lap.

On the ride to work I basked in the glow of a great night of sex. Even if Austin had invaded my dreams and my thoughts as I tried to figure out how to tell Jason I needed to settle things with Austin. And how was this concert going to work out tomorrow? God! What a potential for bombing.

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