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tutoring jerry

Chapter Ten: Choices

I stood motionless; the envelope slid from my hand and fell to the floor, making a louder sound than it should have when it landed on its edge. The news anchorman was talking with a reporter via satellite-- "Satelllite, of love, ahhh ahh ahh ahhh..." the song just popped into my head, bringing back images of dancing in the purple circle with Ty and Celia-- Mom kinda hovered, expecting me to show her the card.

I know both Mom and Dad were looking at me expectantly, happy that I'd received a birthday card from someone else, expecting a smile from me, but I could only stare blankly at the card in my hand, acutely aware that they could see what would be considered a very strange reaction to getting a birthday card; but I was unable to conceal my distress, my uncertainty, my whatever...

"What's the matter, hon? It is a birthday card, isn't it?" Mom asked, subtly peering over the top of the card, trying not to show she was looking. I was pretty sure she couldn't read anything from that angle, and didn't want to make a show of concealing it from her either, as that would pique her curiosity further.

"Uh... Yeah..." I tried to sound nonchalant, struggling to come up with something to defuse the situation and avoid a bunch of questions. Why hadn't he left it there before I left to get Ty? Then they wouldn't be seeing me have this kind of reaction.

"Who's it from? What's wrong?" She eyed the card.

"Umm, it's from... It's from Jerry, the guy I was tutoring." I looked down at the card to avoid her eyes, "I just didn't expect it is all. I... I better check on Ty." I closed the card and made it clear I wasn't going to offer to show it by walking to my room.

I opened the door to find Ty had fallen asleep. After the day of hell he'd had, he'd been pretty exhausted. I crept in and closed the door as soundlessly as I could and sat at my desk.

What was going on with Jerry? Why the visit today, and this? What was he doing, thinking? He hadn't said anything to make me think he wanted to get back together or anything like that. I didn't think at this point that I wanted to get back together with him anyway. I mean, he'd been so cold, and Ty was so nice...

'He's just trying to apologize for treating me so... He feels guilty. He is obviously aware that he hurt me a lot. That's all it is. Guilt. That's all...'

I'd thought if I had the chance, I'd wanted to talk to him, to clear the air, but now don't know how to handle it, don't know what to think or say when I see him, and I can't figure out what I feel when I see him. I mean, it's like all the emotions come back up almost as strongly as they did before-- but I don't really understand them. I can't tell if they're hurt, love, anger, sadness, loss, need, combinations or what...

I put the card in my desk drawer and sat in silence, staring blankly at the curtains on the window behind my desk. I had never liked those curtains. They had a repeating print of little drawings of Model A's and Model T's all over them. Shitty looking little pen and ink type drawings, and this god-awful brown fringe up the edges. I wanted to rip them down and stomp on them and burn them and scream at the top of my lungs! 'Shit, get a grip.'

I looked over at Ty laying on his back, the mostly unbeaten side of him visible, the sheet hanging off his hip, just barely covering his pubic hair, plenty of bruises still visible on his chest and far side-- still beautiful, still sexy, serene in sleep.

I sat and sipped my Coke, staring idly at Tyson, trying not to think about Jerry, about anything. I heard my parents go to bed. I silently slipped out to go pee, came back and got undressed. I took a couple of minutes of very slow movements getting into bed and snuggling up to his 'good' side, never waking him. I gave him feather soft kisses on his shoulder and closed my eyes, thinking how ironic it was that he was here naked with me in my house, my bedroom, my bed, and I couldn't even hold him, let alone make love to him.


I'm looking down at the sheet of rice paper on my desk; the first three verses are already there in beautiful handwriting. Ahh, a poem. A love poem. But a sad one. My vision encompasses Jerry, sweat glistening softly over his sculpted frame, displaying his perfection sumptuously over long trains of black satin sheets and several stark white pillows. My bedroom walls are all black and seem to go on like the satin sheets on the bed into infinity, in the muted light coming from above a ceiling fan, turning maniacally slow, laying long caressing shadows across his troubled eyes, running stealthy shadow fingers teasingly down his stomach, groin and thighs. An anguished look binds his face staring at the ceiling, still, in the dim light of my oppressively hot, sticky, humid bedroom. The tinny sound of Tango music crackles from an antique quartz crystal radio. I sit immobile at my desk, and know he's not aware of my presence. I know It's my room, my desk, it's my bed he's lying on, and I'm wondering where the ceiling fan came from.

I shake my head to clear it and sweat slings from my hair all over the rice paper and the edge of the bed, several tiny sparkles of it fly into his biceps and ribs. He doesn't notice. The poem is sad, but very poetic. I am compelled to add to it, but everything I write comes out illegible chicken scratch. Tears mingle with the sweat, dripping on the paper causing bubbles and wrinkles. I want to scream to make him know I'm there, but no sound escapes my lips...

I look over at Jerry, and that single tear escapes his eye, staring at the ceiling. He can't even feel my thigh pushing against the edge of the bed. He can't hear my tears thundering down onto the paper. Someone should be asking the questions I really need to know...


My eyes blink several times, adjusting to the little bit of light in the room. Just a dream. Just another sad dream.

I feel Ty's body warmth next to me, and feel his arm across my stomach and he's breathing on my shoulder. My heart constricts and my breathing becomes shallow as I stare at the ceiling in the darkness,

'What am I going to do? I really think I love Ty-- but no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to let go of Jerry. I'm lying in Ty's arms, dreaming of Jerry. But really, Jerry doesn't deserve my love when I think about it with a clear head--- like that's very often-- so I should be able to let go of him. I mean, once you've acknowledged something like that to yourself, shouldn't it be easy-- at least easier-- to let it go?'

I explained to Mom and Dad that there was nothing significant going on at school just then-- that next week was when they'd crank it into high gear with final exams. Of course I told them I could easily catch up on this day's work tomorrow, so they let me stay home with Ty. They were still worried about him.

The day was wonderful and frustrating at the same time. It was wonderful, because we were alone together, and we got to really know each other, talking and listening to music. It was frustrating because we couldn't make love. I did suck him off, and he insisted I let him suck me a little, but I finished myself off standing over his chest while he talked dirty to me,

"Yeah baby, yeah, cum all over me!" He gripped my knees and looked up at my hand flying up and down my cock. I was getting close, real close. "Cover me Danny, cover me with your cum, all over my chest and face-- it'll be good for my black eye." We both burst out laughing at that.

"I won't be able t' do it if you say shit like that!" I said between laughs.

"Ok. I know, I couldn't help it. Ok, get back into it," he smiled. I resumed stroking and it only took a minute and I let go a torrent of cum all over him-- even landing one spurt on his lips-- but none on his eye.

"Aghh! Ohhhh, yeah!" I gasped and went down on my knees, straddling his hips, still pumping my cock.

"Ooooh, yeah, baby. That's so hot!" He fondled my nuts as my hand slowed down.

I watched him lick the glob off his lips and bent over to lick the random puddles off his chest and neck. I had sprayed a copious load, so there was a lot to clean up.

"Let me have some of that," he said. So I gathered several pools in my mouth and kissed him, letting my little reservoir slide into his mouth. We swirled it around with our tongues and swallowed at the same time. "Mmmmmmm..." He smacked his lips as I raised my head, "Best cream in the fucking world, baby, best in the fucking world."

"No, yours is the best."

"No, yours."

"No, yours." We laughed again.

That was great. But I wanted to hold him and be held by him and feel him inside me. He was willing to try having me sit on it, but I actually had enough self-control to say no, it wasn't worth the risk of aggravating his injuries, or causing him any more pain. I was afraid once we got started, I'd get carried away.

My folks were just being so great about everything, never even questioning his staying with us, or how long he might need to. Mom showed amazing restraint by not asking him questions about himself and his life. I know she had to work hard at not asking. Oh, and Ty told me he saw Celia in his dream last night, and he said she knew he was ok now.

Mom cooked a wonderful dinner and Ty was so nice and polite and complimentary to her and my dad. They seemed to really like him. Later, he told me how envious he was of me for having such fantastic parents, tearing up a little when he said it.

Mom's medicines were working like magic. His bruising was disappearing rapidly, and he was walking stiffly, but without a limp by that second evening. His eye was open now and he could kiss more passionately. We all talked and decided he would be able to go to school on Wednesday.

Ty was apprehensive, studying the amount of swelling and bruising left on his face in the mirror on my closet door Wednesday morning. He was able to wear one of my biggest, baggiest tee shirts, and it's snug fit on him showed off his gorgeous torso, and Mom had washed his jeans.

"Man, I don't know about this. I look like a fuckin' freak." He said quietly as I tied my shoes.

"Well, you are! I mean, that's what people call longhaired guys, besides 'stoners', anyway. But I know what you mean. Hey, you can just say the other guy looks worse, like ya got in a fight with someone your own age." I smiled up at him.

"I don't even wanna go, but I feel obligated to, t' like repay your folks for all the kindness. It's like they don't know what a shit I am, like they have some kinda faith in me, that I can do somethin' right." He shook his head ironically. "Nothin' I could do about school now, though."

"Well, ya ever thought about getting a G.E.D.? At least you'd have that. I could help you with that."

"Hmm," he considered the thought. "I think that'd be a good idea. With your help I bet I could do it." He pulled me into a hug and kissed me. I put my arms very lightly around him and kissed him back.

We didn't share any classes, but at least we shared the same lunch period, so we arranged to meet at the far northern corner of the commons by F Building at lunch.

Through the morning, people were talking to me. I didn't understand why all of a sudden, people were just talking casually to me in different places at different times. The best thing about it was that I was able to talk just as casually back to them, with none of the shyness I'd always had. It was just gone. And it was all kinds of different types of people too, nerds, cool people, jocks, stoners-- it was kinda freakin' me out, but making me feel very good at the same time.

I was focused on Tyson though--- which is, I'm sure, why I had that big ear-to-ear grin plastered on my face most of the time. I kept fantasizing he and I walking the hallways between classes with his arm around me, him crushing me up against my locker and kissing me passionately-- all the scenes that played out everyday over and over between guys and girls in every high school in the world--- well, except the all boys or all girls ones-- and it was such a drag to know that we could never do anything like that.

I admit I was kinda wanting Jerry to see me with Ty-- A mix of wanting him to see that I had gotten over him-- true or not-- and wanting him to see what a hot guy I had now. Childish and immature, sure, but hell, I wanted everyone to see me with him. I felt just like a girl does when she gets the hottest, most popular guy to go out with her, and I wanted to show him off-- he may not be popular, since he didn't go enough to know anyone, but he was damn sure one of the hottest looking guys in school! But all these thoughts and images were also giving me boners at the most inopportune moments-- not that there were any opportune moments for boners. I untucked my shirt and carried my backpack in front of me.

When the lunch bell rang, I sprinted out to the commons, staking out our rendezvous point on the cement ledges of the planters separating a higher ramp walkway from a lower one by the side entrance of F building.

I was looking out over the throngs of students walking and milling about, searching the heads for his hair, when I felt his hand on my shoulder. I turned with a huge smile on my face to find Jerry leaning down instead, hand tentatively on my shoulder.

I saw his eyes narrow as he watched my smile abruptly change to something approximating horror. My brain was flashing, 'Why are YOU here? Ty is on his way! Get outta here! Why do you look so good? I can't talk to you right now. Don't look me in the eyes-- don't do that to me!'

"Hi, Danny," he said as he squatted down beside me.

A couple of guys stepped over from behind him, shortcutting through the plants to jump down on to the lower level and take off in the other direction. There were several people sitting about ten feet further down the ledge, talking amongst themselves. It wasn't a very busy area, but it wasn't deserted either.

"Hi." I said, very uncomfortable.

"You weren't in school yesterday. Did you get my card?" He asked quietly.

"Yeah." I looked at his face, only a foot away from mine. I tried not to look in his eyes, but that was futile. One glance away, back, away, back, lock. He sucked me in and made my stomach fill with butterflies. Fuck!

He studied my face, a very serious look on his, a kind of pleading look, or concerned, or... I don't know.

He was almost whispering, "Danny, can we go somewhere and talk? I really need to talk to you."

"I, I, I'm..." I stuttered like an idiot, blushing.

"Danny," he looked around to make sure nobody could hear him. "I've got to tell you how sorry I am, but there's so much more I've got to say to you... Please? I'm sure you hate me now-- and I don't blame you. I'm the biggest fucking asshole in the whole world, but..." He looked around again, and crooked his head, rolling his eyes back to say 'Let's get out of here.' and started to get up.

I put my hand on his knee to stop him, to let him know I wasn't going to go, and realized what it looked like and jerked it back, looking around to see if anyone had caught that.

"I'm waiting for-- someone." I looked away, scanning the commons.

"Oh? Waiting for someone, huh?" He thought I was brushing him off, "Look, I'm not gonna hurt you, Danny. I just wanna talk to you."

"No, really. I am waiting for someone. For Tyson." I couldn't look him in the eyes when I said it.

"Who? Do I know him? What is he to--- is he who that big beautiful smile was for?" He whispered again as he moved and sat down on the ledge beside me with an agonizing look on his face, "Is he...? Are you and him...?" He couldn't finish.

My head was throbbing. 'Why is he doing this? Why right now?' I didn't know if I could answer him. I couldn't understand why some-fucking-how in my addled brain at that moment, it seemed like telling him 'Yes, me and him' would be like admitting to cheating on him. 'Bullshit! I'm not HIS! He didn't want me! "...big beautiful smile...??????" WHAT?!'

"Umm..." I looked down between my knees and watched my feet dangle from my ankles. I just didn't know what to do or say. I fell right back into my old patterns, unable to speak or think clearly.

"Dude! I thought you meant we were gonna go get our food 'n shit and then meet here! I been waiting in line at the vending ma--" Ty stopped in mid word when Jerry and I both turned our heads to see him walking up behind us through the shrubs. Then he stopped in mid movement, looking Jerry's face over warily, holding a couple of cinnamon rolls and a Dr Pepper in his hands.

Jerry stood up and faced him, looking back and forth between the two of us, wondering I'm sure, where he got the black eye, probably a little surprised that I was seeing or hanging out with-- whichever he thought at that point-- a stoner. I stood up and turned so I could see them both. Tyson came on through the shrubs, squatted and jumped carefully down to the lower walkway facing Jerry, leaving his food and drink on the ledge, his black eye shining brightly in the sun. He looked Jerry up and down, pausing a second longer at his bulge. He had a smirk on his face and a snide tone,

"Ahhh, you must be the jock mother fucker that broke---"

"Who the fuck are you?" Jerry bristled; standing up straight, arms spreading out, jaw tightening. Tyson noted the body language and struck his own testosterone pose,

"What, you think I'm scared a' you, mother fucker?" He sneered and pushed his chest slightly forward, curling his lower lip in.

When I said I wanted Jerry to see me with Ty-- this was definitely NOT what I had in mind.

"Ty!" I stepped in front of him. "Calm down!" I whisper shouted. Ty looked back and forth between us. "He just wants to talk," I said very quietly, aware that some of the people around us were watching to see if there was going to be a fight.

"What's your fuckin' problem, freak?" Jerry spat at him.

Ty pushed past me to point his finger in Jerry's chest-- almost touching--- and calmly, quietly said, "My fuckin' problem is I want you t' stay away from him. You already caused him enough pain, don't ya think?" As I tried to get between them, unsuccessfully.

I couldn't believe this was happening. They were having a pissing contest over me! Well, no, much more serious than a pissing contest. While it's very flattering in a high schoolish way, it's also extremely embarrassing. I had seen this type of thing happen over girls more than once-- and yes, it was always kinda fun to watch, like a real time soap opera. But it's really not that great when it's you they're waving their dicks over in front of everybody, especially when you are all three guys, in the middle of your high school.

And it's not so much that I thought of this as juvenile, as it was that I just hated confrontations, especially between two guys I love-- 'Oh God this IS a fucking soap opera! I really don't need this! Please God, don't let them fight! PLease! Make these people lose interest and drift away!' Yeah, right--- that'll happen.

"Ty, Jerry, let's not do this here, ok? Guys? Please?" I pleaded, glancing at the people casually watching the show, inserting my arms between them.

"You don't know anything about me, freak, so why don't you just stay outta this?" Jerry actually sounded calm, like he was trying not to escalate, but his muscles were all tensed and he was poised to strike.

I could only watch it all transpire, dumbstruck. 'No! This can't really be happening! Not here!' Ty put his face about five inches from Jerry's, talking very quietly,

"Don't know about you? Tell ya what I DO know, bitch. He tried t' kill himself because of you. So why don't ya get the fuck outta here and leave him alone. I know all I need t' know about you, mother fucker." He was trembling and his fists were clenched.

Jerry jerked back like Ty had hit him. He turned his eyes to me and I watched the most pained expression I've ever seen in my life come over his face as tears began to fill his eyes. His body seemed to fold in on itself and he looked like the wind had been knocked out of him.

One single tear leaked out of his left eye as he looked in mine and said, "Oh God, Danny... I didn't know. God, I didn't know..." He was choking on his words, trying to say things, trying to hold back sobs, aware that easily fifteen people could see his face, and a few of them could hear what he was saying. "I'm so sorry."

I could have died. My eyes filled with tears, and I looked between him and Tyson. I could barely understand his words as Jerry leaned in close to my ear and whispered, trying to hold back sobs,

"Please talk to me, later, somewhere else, please," he pleaded. "I have to tell you something. I can't say it here in front of..."

I was watching Ty's face as he spoke. He was shaking his head, sadly. I couldn't handle this at all. No matter what I did now, I'd hurt somebody-- which would hurt me too. I didn't know what Jerry wanted to say to me-- just meeting with him I could tell would upset Ty. And Ty was just being protective, not wanting me to get hurt more, but maybe afraid I would go back to Jerry too-- I don't know-- I could only guess at what he was thinking.

But I knew I had to talk with Jerry-- for my own good, sanity, whatever. I didn't let my mind focus my thoughts even for a moment on how much it hurt me when I saw that look on Jerry's face. I think I didn't want to see that kind of depth of feeling. Up to that moment, I was still thinking there's nothing there for me, so I focused on our surroundings and the immediate drama. 'All these people around us are watching this! We have all just effectively been outed! Oh my God! This is majorly disastrous!'

Jerry had the most to lose, obviously. Ty wasn't in school enough to be bothered by it, and I wasn't noticeable enough to warrant much attention, but Jerry was so high profile. I had no doubt word would spread like wildfire before the day was through. 'This can't be happening!' Then Huntsville slammed into my brain, bringing on a whole new panic, which was overwhelmed by the pain in Jerry's face, and the concern in Tyson's face.

"Man, Danny, ya don't hafta listen to him, ya know," Ty backed off, keeping his defensive stance, but giving us room. Jerry backed away then too-- but it made me look back and forth between them. 'This is killing me!' It felt so 'either or' to me, I couldn't take the thought of hurting either of their feelings.

I turned and started walking, "Let's get outta here y'all. Let's go over there." I pointed toward the same little isolated tree in the distance I was sitting under Monday when Jerry came to me. They walked with me, on either side, stealing glances at each other, still sizing each other up, wondering what I was doing, wondering about each other. The little crowd we left dissipated. I tried not to think of what they were going to tell everyone they knew. I knew I would have if I'd seen it happen and knew anyone to tell it to. Excitement for the day. The new buzz.

Now, I'm not going to try to deny that that whole scene inflated my ego to bursting, I mean, come on!!! Two big strong hot and sexy guys, ready to tangle over me-- you try not letting something like that go to your head! I'm human! A teenager! But it still came down to trying not to hurt either of them or let them physically hurt each other. Yes, part of me said Jerry deserved some hurt-- but I couldn't do it to him, not on purpose.

As we walked, I was thinking how I was so relieved they hadn't come to blows. Tyson was fearless, and wouldn't hesitate to take Jerry on, but he was no match for Jerry. Besides having a couple of inches and ten or fifteen pounds over Tyson, I remembered Jerry mentioning boxing lessons and Ju Jitsu and something else I couldn't remember the name of. And seeing as how his body was still in the middle of recovering from his ordeal with his dad, I shuddered to think what Jerry would have done to him if Ty had went for him. We were well away from anyone else, but only halfway to the little tree when Ty spoke to Jerry across my back,

"Dude, look, we don't need t' fight. I just want you t' leave him alone. I mean, you got no idea how much you hurt Danny-- no fuckin' clue. I just don't wanna see him hurt no more, ok? I love him, Jerry-- you don't."

Jerry stopped, jerked his head and stared at Ty. His eyes seemed to burn and his jaw tightened, making veins pop out on his temples. We all stopped and formed a little triangle. Jerry's eyes were red,

"Look, uh, Tyson, I know I hurt him, bad." He looked at me, "I didn't know I made you..." He bowed his head and choked back a sob, then looked at Ty, "I guess you know all about what happened. I... Look, I got things I need to talk to Danny about. I need t' talk to him alone, Tyson. I can see you care about him, and you may even... He might..." He looked back to me with pleading eyes, "I just need to talk to you, Danny, alone, please. I mean, if you wanna see me beg you, I will. I just gotta talk-- let you know how I feel. I can't live with myself, knowing how bad I hurt you, Danny, please..." My heart was melting.

The sun was beating down on all of us, in that little triangle where time seemed to stand still. I looked back and forth between them, as well as I could see through my tears. I wanted to shrink until I was hidden in the blades of grass beneath our feet. I wasn't equipped to handle this. I felt wobbly, like I needed to sit down. I looked at Ty. He was looking just as sad and defeated as Jerry. It was beginning to sink in, at that point, that Jerry wanted me back. 'Just too complicated. I can't deal with this. This isn't right-- this shouldn't be happening. These two shouldn't be making me choose like this. I mean, it's nobody's fault-- well, it kinda IS Jerry's fault-- but I don't want to do this!'

"Danny... Man, He's just gonna fuck with your head. You don't need that right now." He looked me in the eyes.

Tears were running down my cheeks. The sun felt so hot on my head and shoulders, and I was dizzy. No matter what I did...

"Ty... Umm, like I told you yesterday, I do need to talk to Jerry, to sort things..." I turned to Jerry, "You gotta know I'm with Tyson now, we're..."

"I see that," he cut me off. "You don't need to say it-- please." He glanced at Ty's bulge, "Please don't."

Ty saw him glance and subtly adjusted his pelvis forward, making his bulge more pronounced and defined. God the testosterone in the air! I blushed even through my tears.

Again, I'm a little ashamed, or embarrassed to admit how seeing their jealousy over me made me feel. I'm sorry, but it made me feel just fucking incredible! Really, the last thing I ever expected in my lifetime was to have two gorgeous guys jealous over me. If that makes me selfish, childish, immature and all that-- I accept that judgement. But I can't begin to tell you what it did for my self-perception, self worth and all. Don't get me wrong-- I wasn't enjoying this scenario, the way it had gone, and was dreading whatever came next. But somewhere, in some chamber of my brain, it made me feel better about myself than I ever had in my life.

I don't want to get into all that psychobabble about tying my self worth to other people's perception of me, and all that stuff. Suffice it to say, at the time, it had a major impact on me. But I was too concerned with how not to hurt either one's feelings to dwell on that for more than a very brief moment.

"Umm, Ty, I think it'll do me a lot of good to talk with him. You know, clear the air an' all, ok?"

"Man, I just don't wanna see you hurt anymore, baby," he brought his hand to my jaw, brushing it lightly, making me shiver. I was aware, of course, of the possessive body language, the verbal possessive, not to mention how brave-- or reckless, depending on how you look at it-- it was to make such a bold tender and loving gesture within view of several hundred kids. I had no idea if anyone saw him do it besides Jerry-- who cringed at "Baby", and turned his head away when he saw Ty's hand touch my jaw and the look we shared.

"I'll be ok. I need to talk to him."

Ty glanced at Jerry and anger flashed in his eyes, "Goddammit Danny, remember what Celia said? Are you just gonna let him take you back after what he did to you? Are you just gonna walk away from me now? I thought you..." He looked down at the grass, "Fuck it." He turned and started walking away.

My stomach clenched and my breath caught, "No! Ty! No, it's not like that! I just gotta talk about things. Come back! Please, Ty!" I started after him and Jerry grabbed my arm.

"Danny. Let him go. He-- he shouldn't have a problem with you talking to me. If he can't trust you t' do that, then he must know something about-- about what you feel."

I looked down at his hand gripping my arm and couldn't decide whether to go after Ty or stay and talk with him. Distance was beginning to decide for me, as Ty walked faster the further away he got. I was frozen with indecision, then I saw him turn the corner of F building and a sinking feeling hit my gut. 'This is killing me! Goddammit! What do I do?' I looked up into Jerry's eyes through my tears and I felt like I needed to sit down again. I felt drained.

"I don't want to hurt him. I can't stand to hurt him-- he's so..." I trailed off.

"I know you can't, Danny, because you're the kindest, most loving person I've ever known." I looked into his eyes and there were tears again. My knees were turning to rubber again and my heart was aching-- for both of them. We stood in silence for a bit, his grip on my arm had relaxed, but he wasn't letting go. I felt like he was trying to communicate through his touch. When I looked down at it again, he let it go reluctantly.

"Umm..." I went flush and looked at my watch, "Uh, lunch'll be over soon..." I looked at Jerry, like, 'What now?'

"I don't care about class." He furrowed his brow in thought for a moment, "I uh, oh yeah--- I know where we can go," he started and stopped to see if I would follow. I looked at him, then like a camera in a movie, my eyes focused beyond him about forty yards away, on Brenda Stileno standing there with a very confused look on her face.