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sometimes blue
DrewI am a thirty something married gay boy living in Sydney, almost on top of the gay scene but not in it! Why Sometimes blue?, because I love blue, but also I am sometimes blue :)
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Thursday, January 17, 2008

More of Friends who are porn stars

Following on from my post the other day of friends who are porn stars, I found a blog with some naughty pictures of my mate.
Click the photo above to be taken to the NSFW images, although they are only solo pictures of him!

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Thursday, November 22, 2007

The expected is going to happen

Well this morning the expected happened, and I will have to move out of the offices I share in January.

I am more than a little pissed off by this as I have spent money on fixing the office in the last month, which is now going to be wasted.

The situation as it stands is the company I share with and the company they have invested in needs larger offices. I get the feeling that the main investor in the companies has looked at the finances of both and scratched their head as to why they need two separate offices and has suggested that sharing an office is a good way of saving 100K a year.

Yeah sure it's business and it's far, but my mate would have known this for a fair while (months) and to now tell me when the world goes into shut down mode over Christmas just pisses me off.

Mind you this is the guy who is having a battle of wills with the puppy and basically went from being one of my closest friends to barely saying hello to me.

So in the long run it's for the best, but I now have to find a new office, and one that I can continue to bring the puppy too.

Who talking of which obviously senses that my ex mate doesn't like her as she keeps away and unlike every other person she does not jump on or go near when he is around.

I am a big believer that animals sense people's true inner self and I think she has a far greater instinct than us humans do!

I am not looking forward to looking for offices, apart from the fact that it will be a huge and unexpected expense for the company (moving, new leases, new marketing material, phone lines changed, Internet connections bonds etc) I don't like the uncertainty of it all either. The very least they could do is not ask for rent for December and January, but I doubt that will happen.

I have to really stop myself and bite my tongue because there are just so many things that I want to say. But what goes around comes around and there is more elegance in keeping quiet and being the bigger person.

So if anyone knows of cool groovy office space to share in or around the CBD, Surry Hills, Paddington, Darlinghurst or East Sydney tell me! Oh and don't forget the beagle comes too!

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Monday, September 03, 2007

More Bloggers Meetings

On the weekend we were invited to Margeaux's repeated 27th Birthday party which was a total hoot! The party was great fun as you can see above both Margeaux and I were most definitely a few sheets to the wind.
In fact I was told off twice for being rowdy.
In incident one I put my butchest voice on and screamed at some friends down on the street, Unfortunately I didn't realise that a security guard was downstairs and I was told off twice, once by the security guard and the second time by the host :)
The second incident involved me throwing ice off the balcony - I just have no idea what came over me!
But maybe it was the great group of friends that Margeaux has that made me lose my common sense. The illustrious Nick from Californication was there too which is always a pleasure. I really do love eclectic groups of people at parties it's really cool to meet all types of people not just the 'regulars'.
And we will be seeing Margeaux at Homosexual this coming Thursday night too!
No if you are very lucky there is one of the worst picture of me ever on Margeaux's camera, it shows me in my campy silly self, hands in some horrible campy expression LOL, so if you need to see this hassle Margeaux LOL!
We are off to the Gold Coast today for a few days to escape the APEC madness and have a bit of R&R in between working from a different location.
My 3 Net connect card is plugged into my trusty Sony Vaoi, my mobile is charged and I am excited!
The puppy is in doggy day care at Rose's and has been there since yesterday afternoon and I miss the little miss already, but I know that she will be fine and happy!
So great weekend was had!

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Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Some things are clearer

Following on from this ridiculousness from yesterday today was even stranger. I am almost tempted to use real names and explain more.

But I think it probably best not too. So many people that I know read this blog anyway and know the situation but it's best not to throw a red flag at a bull.

An incident happened this morning that made a lot of things clear and helped explain an awful lot of things that I have been mis interpreting.

I have however worked out what the issue actually is, and it's one of power games more than anything else. There is a perception on my friends behalf that I have been playing power games and he feels as though I have been intentionally making him look bad or trying to undermine his authority.

It's funny because nothing could be further from the truth, but in fantasy like reality, perception is king, and just the perception is enough to cause all the problems.

I was fuming over an incident this morning and I was all set to first off right a very nasty email basically hauling him over the coals, but decided not too as emails can be sent around, picked over and badly misconstrued.

I then decided that I was going to confront him over the telephone (in person would be better but he does not cope with any form of confrontation and would sand bag). But after thinking about what would be the possible outcomes of any form of confrontation, I sadly realised that the only outcome of any of these would be bad news and would have far reaching consequences.

So I am just going to have be careful to make sure that I am not playing power games and make doubly sure that the perception of power games or the perceived slight to his authority is mitigated.

This whole thing is such a waste of my time and energy. I was so upset over this today I probably wasted at least an hour of quality work time, only half concentrating on what I was doing.

It's interesting though I think I can now safely say the ball is in my court to mitigate the issue from happening in the future.

Sadly though the friendship I had is pretty much over, which is a significant shame, but I have tried time and time again to build it back up but I think today was the last shot. You can only take so much.

I think he's too stubborn to ever say sorry even if he understood the truth.

It's amazing that in twenty four hours I have gone from wanting to repair the friendship to realising that sometimes friendships go through natural progressions and sometimes even the best of friends must drift apart.

I thought a small musical interlude to today's post, it's 'For Good' from the Stephen Scwhartz musical Wicked. It's all about friends.

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Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Tension so thick you could cut it with a knife

The ongoing weirdness with my friend is continuing, and I have even made a serious attempt to offer an olive branch of reconciliation.

The friend just seems to stressed out, distant and on edge and I can't quite put my finger on the issue. I don't know whether it's work related (there is a lot going on there which is all very stressful), personal or a mix of everything.

I often wonder whether he reads my blog and has actually read posts where I have been cutting and quite nasty? Well this is my blog and I do use it form time to time to go through issues and get them from my head (which swirls enough) and into some jumble of words and emotions.

Anyway I seriously tried to ask if he was OK, the answer I got was yes from his mouth but a no from his body language. Then a moment later an 'I have to do something' and it's not the right time to talk'.

I do feel for him and no matter what I suppose I do want the friendship to repair itself. It will most likely never be quite what it once was, but I do want it to repair itself.

Looking back it's now almost three months since the offense occurred and as many times as I have wanted to tell him what happened I have chickened out every time.


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Sunday, August 12, 2007

Is that an Elephant?

The friend and I that are having communication issues got together yesterday for several hours, and a specific point was made to make sure we had 'alone' time to chat.
But not surprisingly the actual issues were never discussed, it's like there being a huge elephant in the room that we were both ignoring.
We talked about all sorts of things but never touched on the issues which have come between us and stopped the ability for me to have an open and honest discussion.
There's an old joke from the Simpsons, "There's the truth, and there's the truth". Nothing could be more accurate in this situation, everyone expands and embellishes a good story, that's human nature.
When someone tells you a story or recounts something that happens to them parts of the story are amplified, while other parts left out, and you take all of this in with a grain of salt. We just accept this variance as being normal.
But when does the variance and amplification become an out and out lie? I struggle with the fact that so many things I am being told are not just small variances or embellishments but total lies, told with a straight face even though I know the truth.
It's almost as if there were two apples siting on a table and I was being told there were three. It's as blatant as that.
I hate being made to feel stupid, and I sat there yesterday asking myself whether I mention I know the 'truth' or ask the questions that are eating away inside. The boy is fed up with listening to me complain about the situation, and he just accepts that the friendship has changed.
I know people psychologically sometimes construct an alternate reality for themselves and as they tell the small white lies, they start to believe the fantasy, and pretty soon the fantasy becomes reality in their own mind.
But how do you as a friend deal with this fantasy world, what makes a friend? Do you sit quietly nod and say nothing, or do you confront and potentially alienate a friend even more than they already are.
Or is this just the way that good friendships just become acquaintances until it is the occasional "Hi how are you, we must catch up"?
This afternoon we will be going to the National Day of Action rally to protest for equal rights for same sex couples. The boy says they need to learn how to make these things more interesting and maybe more people would go. I prefer to believe that most gay guys seem to be vocally in support of equal rights, but very few are actually willing to interrupt their day to actual go and participate in something.
It will be interesting to see how many people turn up this year

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Saturday, August 04, 2007

What a fantastic way to start the day!

Right out of the blue this morning as I turned my computer on one of my dearest and closest friends in LA finally got a skype account and said hi! I was so damn excited!

It had to have been the most perfect start to the day!

And at the start of October we will be over there having fun with the boys, shopping, eating and sitting by the pool giggling and laughing!

I am so excited, I get to play with the Finnish Minges and play with the LA boys all in one trip!

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