I am a thirty something married gay boy living in Sydney, almost on top of the gay scene but not in it!
Why Sometimes blue?, because I love blue, but also I am sometimes blue :)
Is that an Elephant?
The friend and I that are having communication issues got together yesterday for several hours, and a specific point was made to make sure we had 'alone' time to chat.
But not surprisingly the actual issues were never discussed, it's like there being a huge elephant in the room that we were both ignoring.
We talked about all sorts of things but never touched on the issues which have come between us and stopped the ability for me to have an open and honest discussion.
There's an old joke from the Simpsons, "There's the truth, and there's the truth". Nothing could be more accurate in this situation, everyone expands and embellishes a good story, that's human nature.
When someone tells you a story or recounts something that happens to them parts of the story are amplified, while other parts left out, and you take all of this in with a grain of salt. We just accept this variance as being normal.
But when does the variance and amplification become an out and out lie? I struggle with the fact that so many things I am being told are not just small variances or embellishments but total lies, told with a straight face even though I know the truth.
It's almost as if there were two apples siting on a table and I was being told there were three. It's as blatant as that.
I hate being made to feel stupid, and I sat there yesterday asking myself whether I mention I know the 'truth' or ask the questions that are eating away inside. The boy is fed up with listening to me complain about the situation, and he just accepts that the friendship has changed.
I know people psychologically sometimes construct an alternate reality for themselves and as they tell the small white lies, they start to believe the fantasy, and pretty soon the fantasy becomes reality in their own mind.
But how do you as a friend deal with this fantasy world, what makes a friend? Do you sit quietly nod and say nothing, or do you confront and potentially alienate a friend even more than they already are.
Or is this just the way that good friendships just become acquaintances until it is the occasional "Hi how are you, we must catch up"?
This afternoon we will be going to the National Day of Action rally to protest for equal rights for same sex couples. The boy says they need to learn how to make these things more interesting and maybe more people would go. I prefer to believe that most gay guys seem to be vocally in support of equal rights, but very few are actually willing to interrupt their day to actual go and participate in something.
It will be interesting to see how many people turn up this year
Labels: contemplation, friends
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2 Comments:
even if you had dancing boys and an open bar, chances are you will have a crowd of the small but dedicated at an NDA. i think social action will be driven by the internet rather than a physical gathering. perhaps the shift of power is in a virtual space.
What is it with issues with friends at the moment??? I know so many people who are going through a topsy turvey phase with friends and relationships - now I read your blog and you are another!
Is it the planets or what???
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