As I stated before, after the incident with Matthew high school became hell on earth, but I should elaborate. Derby was not the high school to be in if you were gay. The rich and powerful don’t tolerate change and they certainly don’t tolerate deviance from the status quo. It was either you fit into a group or you got out. The only other alternative was to stay and be the object of ridicule until you graduated. Since my parents were not about to up and leave their jobs behind I was forced to become that object that was despised and hated all because of what I was. My friends were even threatened; some of them left me, but the good friends stayed with me for the rest of my years of hell. They were there when I was beaten up and tossed into garbage cans, or when certain gestures were done in my vicinity. I had a rough time to say the least.
Graduation came and went, summer was bliss. We all took a road trip up to Kansas City with our favorite credit cards in hand! Of course I made out with a bunch of Armani Exchange and some other things. Course now I was 19 and able to get into the clubs so you can bet we hit those hard. Ever since then I had become what Tammy had said I would be, a slut. I slept around, and why not. I had the body of a gay god, one to be admired from afar and one that people bragged about when they had. I took a different guy home every week. That summer was a whirlwind and I was instantly put on a pedestal and given celebrity status at Fantasy, the local gay club.
My look had even changed. It had become darker. I no longer wore those kinds of cloths that made me look sweet and innocent. I purposely wore cloths that I knew would express every single delicious curve of my body that men admired and wanted. I was seductive and picked out my prey wisely and decisively. The men never knew that all they were to me was fresh meat for me to use for my own pleasure. Once they had done what I wanted them to do they were tossed aside. Some professed their love, offers of a second “date” and promises that they would give me the world if I went with them. But ever since Matthew no one had ever been able to touch that part of my heart that gave me love. I had shut all those emotions out; I didn’t want to be hurt again.
College had started and I was just beginning my perquisite courses. I was in English Composition 101 when I kept seeing this person giving me looks. Of course my first thought was “oh great one of my old class mates.” But then as I looked closer I realized I didn’t recognize him. I don’t even remember what the lecture was on that day, probably orientation. All I could think is why is that boy staring at me? I mean he was cute and I would definitely let him fuck me but why is he staring at me now? Class ended and I picked up my books and was just heading out the door when……
“Evan, hey Evan! Wait up!”
“Yeah, what is it.” I whirled around looking behind me to see that is was that guy from class who had not once tore is gaze from me “What is it that you want.”
“Name is Kevin and I was wondering if I had seen you somewhere before.”
By now I was tired of the boring pick up lines, I had heard them all. Lines like “have I seen you before” and “did it hurt when you fell from heaven.” They were all so clique and so overused that for someone to use them was just plain wrong.
“Yeah hon, if you have been here for at least 2 weeks you would know my name, believe me.”
“Well I thought I saw you at fantasy and I was just wondering. I guess that the real reason I am here is because I know your gay and so am I, and I wanted to get to know the city. Plus I think that we could get to become great friends in the process.”
“Oh is that all Kevin? You didn’t want to lure me to your apartment and fuck my brains out with your huge cock?”
I immediately knew that may have just been the wrong thing to say because Kevin Winters, I later learned that was his last name, got this look of absolute shock on his face.
“NO! I am not like that! I don’t ever do anything like that when I first meet someone. I think that sex is between people who really love each other. I know how the club scenes are and I know that people expect to be fucking all the time, but I am not like that. I only wanted to be your friend.”
Kevin picked up his backpack and started to turn around and walk away. At that same instant my thought process was going a mile a minute. On the one hand I really didn’t want to make any friends, but on the other he was pretty sweet and I did burn him on accident. I guess I felt like I owed him
“KEVIN!” he turned around slowly “I will give you the grand tour of Wichita okay?”
We met up that Saturday after the first week of classes. I showed him around Wichita to all the gay clubs and gay friendly scenes. The entire day I noticed something happening to me, something I couldn’t pinpoint. I began noticing everything about him; the way his body moved at the slightest touch of my hand, his beautiful blue eyes taking in the scenes, the way his icy blonde hair blew in the wind, the way his face scrunched when he laughed. Something was happening to me…..
“Oh Evan I had no idea just how your sarcastic humor could be so damn hilarious. I mean the things you said about that cashier at Starbucks were down right funny! Oh god I think I literally split my sides.”
“Wow I had no idea that I was that funny” I was trying to say in between laughing so hard and trying to catch my breath “then again you’re the one who asked me to take you on the tour. Perhaps I should have given you a waver to fill out ‘in case of an emergency the Evan Shaheen tours company holds no responsibility to what may happen with side splitting laughter”
“Oh god Evan please stop, you’re going to make me pee my pants!”
We were back at Kevin’s apartment after I showed him what little a gay scene we have here in Wichita. I had showed him all the gay friendly establishments and took him by the biggest gay club in town, Fantasy, although the club wasn’t open seeing as it was around 3pm when we actually drove by. We had made a mental note to go back since the place was going to be packed tonight. Right now we were enjoying some pizza and reliving the whole day.
“Now I hope that you’re not just humoring me Kevin. I have never been this funny to anyone. I may just have to sue.”
“No I am not kidding, you really are hilarious. Hey do you hear something?”
I suddenly snapped out of my trance when I realized that the something was my cell phone’s ring tone blaring. I quick checked the Caller ID to see that it was my friend Tera.
“Hey bitch what’s up?” now this is a strange way to greet a person I know. But I and Tera had known each other for almost ten years. I was her bitch and she was my pimp, all in good fun of course.
“Just wanted to ask if you was going to the club tonight. If you are you HAVE to come over here cuz I don’t know what to wear. You know what they say, that it takes a gay man to really dress a straight woman.”
“Yeah I am going, and I am bringing a friend; and NO we are not dating, he is a classmate that just moved here and I was showing him around. Figured that while I was giving him the tour I might as well take him to Fantasy while its bumpin.”
“Yeah baby like I believe that story. You is always lookin for the next good fuck to come around. You haven’t dated anyone in like 2 years. I don’t even think that can legally be classified as a relationship. You only dated that guy for all of 3 days!”
“Yeah well I am coming over and I am bringing Kevin along with me since he is going anyway.”
“OOOOO so Kevin is his name. Evan and Kevin, it rhymes! Evan and Kevin sittin in a tree kissing and makin out like bandits!”
“Yeah Tera that’s it. Cuz we just met so I am taking complete advantage of him. Anyway see ya later babe.”
“Yep. See ya later.”
When I walked back into the room I noticed Kevin sitting on his futon watching television obviously trying not to laugh. Again I noticed how I just kept staring at him. I kept wondering why now after all this time was I suddenly so attracted to this boy? I had only really known him just today!
“So Evan what up?”
“We get to go to my friend Tera’s apartment before the club cuz I have to help dress her ass. I love her to death but that girl is going to drive me to an early grave.”
Perhaps I should stop here and explain Tera to ya’ll. First off she is what is known as a blonde bombshell. Completely attractive to men and women. She can clean up whether she is straight or gay. This girl has made men walk into doors while they stare as she walks by. As anyone knows, that kind of woman doesn’t come by all that often. And this girl can dance. We both can. We get tips all the time at the club and we don’t even work there. Everything I learned about being in the social scene I learned from her. When I first met her back 10 years ago I was as shy as could be and she was a social butterfly. She took me under her wing and transformed me into the person I had become. Her dad had money as well so it wasn’t as if we were completely opposite of each other. Tera, Tammy, and I were known as the three amigos. We often said that we would even end up in the same nursing home together.
“She sounds like fun.”
“Boy you don’t know the half of it. Me and her can really put on a show at Fantasy. Hell we have been going there for so long we get VIP treatment, don’t have to pay for a thing.”
“So I get to go out with a couple of local celebrities tonight. Sounds like it is going to be one hell of a night.”
“Oh you have yet to meet some of the people I know. Some of them are completely out of their minds. But I love them anyway.”
At nine we stopped by my house so that I could get ready. Kevin was impressed with Derby. He hadn’t had much money growing up and had never had the chance to see how the other half lived. He was like a kid in a candy store, so completely impressed with everything that I took for granted. After I had got ready we drove over to Tera’s.
“HEY BABY! Where is he?”
“God Tera you just get right to the point do you, well he is.” Kevin cautiously walked into the apartment. “Don’t worry Kevin this is a gay friendly zone. Tera this is Kevin. Kevin this is my pimp Tera.”
“Yeah and don’t you forget it! Well Evan forgot to mention how gorgeous you are. If you weren’t gay and I wasn’t taken I would simply have to fuck you.”
Kevin began blushing to the point where his cheeks were completely red like a rose, but then Tera can have that affect on people. Her honesty is one of the enduring qualities that I like about her.
“So Kevin make yourself at home. There is some flavored vodka in the fridge provided your not driving and if you are there is soda instead. I have to borrow Evan for a few seconds. My boyfriend Lee should be home any minute. He is cool with gay people so you don’t have to worry.”
As Tera all but outright shoved me into her room I could tell that she was bubbling over with excitement at the prospect of me possibly getting involved with someone.
“So Evan, while I am dressing you better start talking.”
“Talking about what?”
“You know what! He is fucking GORGEOUS! What is he like? When did you meet him? Have you two had sex? You know the basics.”
“Well first off, yes he is gorgeous, second he is like a dream come true, I met him in class, and no we haven’t had sex. To be honest I think I am actually starting to have feelings for him. I don’t know what to do.”
“Oh my God! Are you telling me that you are actually starting to feel LOVE for this boy? You who said that love is something that only hetero couples have when they can’t find anyone else to fuck? Jesus and I thought it wasn’t possible. Course I was shocked when Tammy came out as a lesbian and started dating Diane. By the way I think those two are coming tonight. Bout time to since they haven’t been out in three weeks.”
“Tera I didn’t say I love him, just that I am having some very strong feelings for him.”
“Uh huh, hon I have known you for 10 years lets not forget…..how does this look?”
“I am not in love with him! And that looks fine, put on your hole jeans and that play boy bunny belt and you good to go.”
“Okay cool, this is why I need you. And if you feeling the boy then you should let him know, before someone else does. I mean its not every day that you find some one who is actually compatible to you for crying out loud. Like I said before, its been two years since you actually dated someone, and that wasn’t even a relationship.”
“I know Tera I KNOW. I mean I was just using him for sex. But this is different, its like something so much more powerful that I can’t really explain. Whenever I’m near him or just look at him I feel so different.”
Just about then Tera’s boyfriend popped in with the usual cloths on for him, a pair of baggy jeans, baseball cap, and I baggy shirt. No matter how many times I tried I could never get him to change that for the club.
“Hey ya’ll we need to roll out if we want to make it before it gets to crowded. I assume I am driving since you both drink and your boy is drinkin in there Evan.”
Eventually we all managed to pile into Lee’s Volkswagen Jetta and get our asses to the club. Of course we weren’t card because as I stated before we are VIP. As I danced I felt that force again, something that kept me gravitating towards Kevin, and no matter how hard I tried to fight it, I couldn’t resist him. Eventually I was in his arms, him dancing behind me, feeling me through my tee shirt with a remix of Britney Spears Breathe On Me playing through the speakers. Suddenly I felt his lips on my neck and he bent down and whispered in my year.
“I know how you feel about me. I heard it all at her apartment. Please don’t try to fight this. I want you too. I don’t care how long it lasts so long as I have you in my arms, that’s all that matters.”