It all started in high school. That is the closest I can figure to when I started having an attraction to men. All the jocks in Derby High where big and ripped and they were all pretty well hung with asses you could bounce a quarter on. Half of them were on steroids and they all had that close cropped hair and piercing eyes. As a freshman I had to take a gym class although I clearly didn’t need it. Women fawned over my good looks and body, constantly batting their eyes and giving me their numbers as if I was actually interested. Of course, none knew that I was gay. But in that locker room it was all I could do not to stare.
There was one man in particular that I knew I wanted without a shadow of a doubt. But as I said, I was just coming to grips with the fact that I liked and adored men. I had even put my finger on the fact that I was gay. But I had these strong feelings for Matthew Roderick that I could not shake! He was so handsome and sexy! He was a varsity football player, the star quarterback of the team. He was 250 pounds all of it muscle. Needless to say that if he wanted to he could pick me up and toss me around. Dirty blonde hair and those piercing baby blue eyes made my legs turn to jelly. But I knew that he would never pay any mind to me because he was a junior and I was nothing but a freshman. Typical high school, no one of the upper classmen pays any mind to the lower classmen. That is just how the order of things worked. That is until one fateful day happened that would change my life forever.
It began just like any other day really. It was a Day One day because of block scheduling which simply means there are 4 hour and a half long classes a day with a 30 minute lunch and you have Day One and Day Two days during the week. Since today was a Day One I had gym third period which is what my lunch overlapped so I got a 30 minute break which wasn’t that bad. I usually arrived at school early by about 30 minutes to catch up on the latest gossip of the day and hang out with my friends and talk about how school sucks and how we were all going to be rich and famous when we grew up. Suddenly who but one of Matthew’s underlings comes up to me…..
“Excuse me Evan?”
His messenger was none other than one of the biggest ass kissers in the whole freshmen class. His name was Rick Morrison and he was truly despised by everyone. At 5’6 he was definitely the bookish type that was trying to get into the lime light of popularity which why he was playing messenger to the popular kids.
“Evan I think that Rick is talking to you”
Ah my best friend in the whole wide world Tamara Doesken. Tamara is the epitome of female beauty mixed with that “I’ll kick your ass if you force me” attitude. We met in a day care center known as Kinder Care during our pre school years and hit it off instantly. She is my confidant and I tell her everything. And yes at 17 years the friendship is still going strong. Anyway back to the story…..
“Are you serious? I don’t wanna talk to him! I mean why is he coming over here screaming my name? Everyone is going to think that me and him are friends if he keeps this up damn it!”
“Well you better think of something fast cuz here he comes.”
“Evan I have a note for you.”
“Geez Rick you shouldn’t have” I said just a little too sharply, the sarcasm practically dripping of every word that I was saying.
Rick leaned close to my ear and said at nothing more than a whisper the four words that I never thought I would hear uttered in my entire life.
“It’s from Matthew Roderick.”
My breath immediately came short and my heart began racing. So many thoughts began racing through my head. Things like “Oh shit he knows I have been checking him out!” and “He is so going to beat me into a bloody pulp!” But I had to keep my composure in front of Rick and I forced myself to calm down.
“Thank you Rick for the note. I’ll read it as soon as I get the chance.”
“Actually he wanted me to bring him back your answer before the first bell.”
“Alright then I guess I can oblige.”
I opened up the note just knowing it was going to be something that was going to incur me being beat up and killed because I was checking him out in the locker room.
If you didn’t already know this is from me Matthew Roderick. I know that you have been checking me out in the locker room after gym class. It’s not something that you could easily hide. Now before you start to panic I am not going to hurt you. I just wanna talk one on one with you at lunch. Meet me at the football lockers in the men’s locker room during lunch. It will be completely deserted since everyone will be at lunch. Rick has no idea what is in this note since he is such a kiss up and wouldn’t dream of crossing me. I hope to hear your answer soon. Till then
I was stunned by the note. Not only was he not going to hurt me but he wanted to meet with me in private! This was simply too good to be true. I didn’t trust it but what choice did I have? He knew who I was and I wouldn’t be able to dodge him so I made my choice.
“Tell him yes.”
My first and second blocks passed by so fast I was surprised. My mind kept wondering to that locker room and what Matthew could possibly want with me. Soon I was in the locker room changing into my gym shorts and a tee to do the laps that we had to do for warm ups. I was sweating so much it was just weird, half of which was seeing Matthew Roderick sitting in the bleachers while my group went through warm ups and the little games that they had us do. Every once in awhile I saw him look at me and I would almost trip or I would lose focus. Finally the lunch bell rang and everyone started filing out to get our 30 minute break. I made sure no one was watching and I preceded to the football locker rooms.
“Hello, anyone in here? Hello?”
“Evan is that you? It’s me Matthew back here, last row of lockers.”
I walked all the way to the back row of lockers, my heart racing, and my breathing fast and rapid. As I turned the corner there he was with his tee off showing me his pecs and his rock hard abs with that erotic v shape leading down into his shorts.
“Hi.” I could barely speak above a whisper with the masculine figure in front of me sweating and producing that body odor that was turning me on so badly I couldn’t hide my erection.
“Its okay Evan I am not going to hurt you. I know your attracted to me dude and I just wanna say that I am attracted to you too. Your body is so fucking hot and I just wanna fuck the shit out of it.”
Matthew took several steps toward me and pulled off my tee exposing my skin to his gentle and erotic caress. He pulled hard on the back of my head and kissed me so passionately, his tongue sliding down my throat and licking down my neck tasting all the sweat that was profusely flowing out of my body. He bit me hard, leaving marks all over my neck and shoulders and chest.
“God Evan you’re so hot I just wanna fuck that hot ass.”
“Oh God.” I moaned into his shoulder as he cupped my ass in his hands and grabbed hard. Matthew took my waist band and pulled down my underwear and shorts all in one rapid move. “Go for it Matthew! Fuck me!”
Matthew pulled his shorts down just enough to free his 9 inch dick from its cage. He reached into his locker and produced a condom and slid it onto his thick cock while still kissing me.
“Just go slow. I haven’t done this before.”
“Don’t worry Evan I will”
Matthew then picked me up and positioned me on the wall of lockers and slowly pushed past all my barriers.
“OH GOD MATTHEW!” The shock of my body being penetrated for the first time hurt so badly I didn’t think I could take it. But Matthew kept pistoning in and out of me getting harder and faster each time.
“God Evan you have no idea how good and hot you feel inside. Your so tight and your ass is so damn firm. God you’re so hot! Yeah open up that ass for me.”
He continued to plow my ass so and I continued to love every moment of it. Finally he pulled out and kept me pinned on the wall, legs over his shoulders and he cummed all over my bare chest.
“God Evan that was so damn hot.” Matthew gently let me down and we kissed once more and proceeded back to gym class. In that moment I had fallen in love with Matthew Roderick, the man who had taken my virginity.
After school Tamara saw the marks on my neck as I was sauntering over with a huge smile on my face.
“And what exactly is that smile for and why do you have marks all over your shoulders?”
I held out the note for her to read. As she scanned it her eyes became wider and wider until it looked like they might pop out of her sockets.
“You didn’t? Did you? Did you and he? I can’t believe you! You and him fucked in the locker room didn’t you?”
“Yes I did and it was so hot I thought that I would melt. And yes it was in the locker room at the football lockers.”
“You are such a slut! Now you’re going to be going around getting every hot piece of ass that you can get. You’re not even old enough to go out to the clubs yet and already you’re fucking one of the hottest guys in the entire school.”
“Yeah so? And I am not a slut. This was my first time thank you very much little miss drama queen.”
For the next 3 weeks Matthew and I had sex every lunch period. It was always at the football lockers and always wonderful. Then one day something horrible interrupted our bliss.
We didn’t hear the door open. We didn’t hear the foot steps. All we managed to hear was Rick Morrison gasp at the site that he held before his eyes when he saw Matthew and me in the last row of lockers.
“OH MY GOD! OH MY FUCKING GOD! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING! OH MY GOD!”
Matthew’s head jerked up so suddenly that he hit the next row of lockers temporarily blurring his vision. All I could do was stare at Rick as his mouth hung open at the site that was before his eyes, still unable to comprehend the images passing before him. Matthew had managed to pull his shirt and pants back on. In five quick steps he had Rick up by the throat practically choking him.
“Rick, you tell anyone of this and I swear I will make your life a living hell. You can’t afford the bad reputation I will give you. You’re nothing more than an ass kisser and I swear you’ll be a dead ass kisser if you EVER leak this to anyone. Evan and I were just fucking. It means nothing and that is all it will ever mean got it.”
“Yes” Rick was cowering as much as he could in Matthew’s strong grasp with his veins popping out of his arms.
“Good. Now get out of here.” And that is when he said it. “Evan you had better get your pants back on. I don’t wanna see you again. I don’t need this to leak out and have everyone find out that I was fucking a guy. I am not queer. I am NOT a faggot. Now go and I don’t wanna ever cross paths with you again. And what I said to Rick goes for you to. You say one word of this and I swear I will kill you.”
“I swear I won’t tell anyone.” I could barely speak above a whisper. For some strange reason I had thought that Matthew had loved me and God knows that I had fallen for him. My friends recognized the difference in me even if they didn’t know why. Tamara tried to approach the subject but got the cold shoulder.
Naturally in a few days the news got out and rumors spread like wild fire. I was hounded and beat up the rest of high school, unable to get a moments peace. Matthew was forced to move. It was in that moment in time that I thought myself incapable of being able to be loved. It was in that moment that I began to think of myself as nothing more than a piece of ass for people’s enjoyment. God knows in the years that followed I became what I feared most, an unloved slut.