“Are you in love with him, or is what you feel is love for a friend?” Annie’s words were spinning in Jeremy’s head as he went to bed. He wasn’t sure how he felt about Cody. It seemed that Cody had changed. Cody was more distant than in the past. It was as if Scott was becoming his best friend. Was he falling in love with Scott?
Jeremy drifted in and out of sleep during the night. When he woke the next morning he felt as if he hadn’t slept at all. After empting his bladder he made his way to the kitchen, but to his surprise he seemed to be home alone. There was a note on the refrigerator saying that his parents had gone grocery shopping. Jeremy would have to make his own breakfast. He was surprised when he saw the clock on the microwave was showing that it was 10:30.
Pancakes and sausage sounded good to Jeremy but his last attempt at making pancakes was disastrous. He decided on bacon, eggs and toast. As he sat to enjoy his breakfast, the phone rang. “Hey fucker, what’s up?” Casey said.
“Hey Casey I just about to have breakfast, let me finish and I’ll call you back.”
“Breakfast? It’s almost 11:00 am back there.”
“Yeah, I know. I didn’t sleep well last night. I’ll tell you about it when I call back.”
“Okay, I’ll talk to you in a few minutes. Bye, Jeremy.
After finishing his breakfast and cleaning up the kitchen, Jeremy went to his room to call Casey.
“Hi Jeremy,” Casey said when he answered the phone. “Now, tell me why you didn’t sleep well last night.”
“I’ve been thinking about my feelings toward Cody. I thought I was in love with him, but he seems withdrawn lately. He even seems to be avoiding me.”
“Would it hurt you more to lose him as a lover or as a friend?”
“Friend, I think. Scott said that Cody was too fanatical about pleasing their dad to ever admit that he is gay.”
“It sounds to me like Scott is more mature than his older brother.”
“I believe he is. He and I are actually becoming good friends.”
“Could Scott become your boyfriend?”
“No, Scott is straight.”
“How do you know that for sure?”
“He told me. He said that he doesn’t believe the bullshit that their church preaches. He’s worried about the way it has messed up Cody’s mind. Between the church and Cody’s dad, he doesn’t stand a chance of ever accepting the fact that he is really gay.”
“I guess you’ll just have to work on being his friend and find a boyfriend elsewhere.”
“I’m not so sure I’m ready for another boyfriend right now.”
“Trust me, one day you’ll be ready, and the right guy will come along for you.”
“That’s what Annie said. Enough about me how is your love life?”
“I’ve decided to not date for a while, I’m still dealing with being molested. Mom and Dad made me go to therapy, and now I agree that it was a good idea. I now realize what happened wasn’t my fault.”
“Of course it wasn’t your fault. Nobody chooses to be molested.”
“I know that now.”
“Well Buddy, I see that Mom and Dad are back from grocery shopping. I’d better go help carry in the groceries.”
“Okay bye, and Jeremy everything will work out for you.”
“Bye and you’ll be okay too.”
The summer vacation continued with Jeremy still working on rebuilding his friendship with Cody. He had accepted the fact that he and Cody would never be boyfriends again. However, he did want Cody as a friend. They continued their workouts in the exercise room and even went horseback rides. Scott was now becoming a close friend.
It was one of those hot humid Oklahoma July days, and they were riding near the river when they came to the oxbow where Jeremy and Cody had their first real sexual experience with each other. Jeremy wondered how Cody now felt about that day. Did he have regrets?
“Hey lets go for a swim,” Scott’s suggestion interrupted Jeremy’s reminiscences.
“No swimming suit,” Cody said.
“So,” Scott said as he dismounted his horse and began to strip.
Jeremy also dismounted and began to strip. Scott looked at Cody who was still mounted on his horse and said, “Well are you going to join us or not?”
Cody reluctantly dismounted and also stripped. Jeremy wasn’t sure, but he felt that Cody was checking out his dick when he thought Jeremy wasn’t looking. Jeremy had never seen Scott nude before, and he was surprised at how mature his body looked. His cock was at least as large as Cody’s. ‘Too bad he’s straight,’ Jeremy thought.
Scott and Jeremy began playing in the water dunking each other while Cody watched. He eventually joined in on the fun. It was almost like old time, yet it was very different, Cody was no longer his boyfriend.
The summer continued with the boys strengthening their friendship. They spent a lot of the summer with Annie and riding horses. Even Molly, Scott and Cody’s little sister, occasionally went riding with them. Jeremy decided that good looks ran in the Downing family. Molly would one day be a beauty.
One lazy Sunday afternoon Jeremy was on the back porch drinking a coke and reading when Allen called out, “Jeremy, Cody is on the phone for you.”
“Okay, thanks Dad,” he said. “Hi Cody, what’s up?”
“We’re going to Falls Creek, do you want to go?”
“Where’s Falls Creek?”
“Davis? You’re going all the way to California?”
“No dork, Davis, Oklahoma.”
“I didn’t know there was a Davis, Oklahoma.”
“It’s in the Arbuckle Mountains in Southern Oklahoma.”
“Are you going on vacation there?”
“Sorta, we’re going to church camp there.”
“I think I’ll pass then. I don’t believe they way your church preaches.”
“Why is that?”
“Well for one thing I could murder someone and be forgiven and go to heaven. Yet, according to your church I’m going to hell because I’m gay. I just don’t make sense.”
“You could go to heaven. You just have to stop being gay.”
“You know as well as I do that you can’t stop being gay.”
“I did and you can too.”
“No Cody, you just stopped being you. But, I understand.”
“Well if you don’t want to go, I guess I’ll see you when we get back. Bye.”
“What was that about?” Allen asked.
“Cody wanted me to go to Falls Creek in Davis. I didn’t know that there was a Davis, Oklahoma.”
“Yeah, my friends tried to get me to go when I was a kid.”
“Did you ever go?”
“Yes, I went once with a friend, but never went back.”
“Well it is beautiful down there. But, I fell like they were trying to brainwash me. Say, while your friends are at Falls Creek, why don’t you fly out to Davis and spend a week with Casey?”
“Sure, I’ll call Mike and Carla and make sure it is okay. Then I’ll make arrangements for your flight.”
“Dad, why don’t you and mom go too?”
“Remember that we have horses now, and they will need to be fed.”
“Dad, there’s plenty of grass and they have the pond for water. They don’t need grain every day, especially since we won’t be riding them. I’m sure Annie would drive by and check on everything while we’re gone.”
“What do you think, Nancy?”
“It would be nice to see our friends there in Davis,” Nancy said.
The Morgan family was in Davis, California the next Monday. Casey took Jeremy around to see all of their old friends. Jeremy of course was happy to see them, but he also realized that Oklahoma was now his home. As much as he liked living in Davis he loved his new life in Oklahoma. He had new friends there, and of course he had Annie. He loved the horses and going horseback riding. He did have poignant feelings when he saw their old house. There had been some fond memories from living there.
“What’s it like living in Oklahoma?” Kevin asked.
“Not that different than living here in Davis,” Jeremy explained. “Tahlequah is smaller, but it’s a university town too. It’s hilly there and a lot more trees.”
“What do you do there for fun?” Brent wanted to know.
“The usually things at school, and in the summer and weekend I go swimming in the river and horseback riding.”
“You have a horse?” Brent asked. “Man I wish I had a horse.”
“We have four horses, if you ever visit you can ride one of them,” Jeremy offered.
“His horse is a beautiful gray,” Casey said.
The boys caught up on old times, but Jeremy was surprised that they wanted to know all about Oklahoma. “You’re welcome to come and visit anytime you want,” he offered.
“I’d love to,” Kevin said. “Maybe my parents would let me.”
“I’d love to go too,” Brent agreed.
Casey’s cell phone rang, interrupting their conversation. It was Carla informing him that it was time for him and Jeremy to come home for dinner.
The Morgans enjoyed their visit back to Davis, but were relieved to get back home when the visit was over. Cody was back from his church camp trip to Falls Creek, was anxious to tell Jeremy all about it. “Man it was awesome,” he said. “The spirit of the Lord was with us the whole week.”
“Cody, I’d just as soon not to hear about your religious experience there,” Jeremy said. “Every time religion comes up we get in an argument.”
“If you’d get right with the Lord, then you wouldn’t feel that way,” Cody said.
“Just because you go to your church every Sunday doesn’t mean that you’re any more right with the Lord than I am,” Jeremy countered.
“You’re wrong,” Cody argued.
“Drop it, Cody,” Scott said. “He already said that he doesn’t want to discuss religion.”
“Alright, I’m going home,” Cody said.
“Fine,” Scott said. “Go home and pray some more.”
“I’m sorry that I even said anything,” Jeremy said after Cody left to go home.
“Don’t worry about it,” Scott said. “He gets that way after these religious gatherings.”
“What goes on at those church camps?”
“Parts of it are kind of fun. We went swimming and place some basketball, and there was even a cookout. But, there were a lot of church things with a lot of preaching. I kind of dozed off during that.”
Within a couple of weeks the friendship between Cody and Jeremy was back on track. The remainder of the summer went by quickly. They were soon making plans for returning to school.
Jeremy was looking forward to being back in school, especially the chorus. Cody had gone out for football, but Jeremy wasn’t interested. He enjoyed watching, but didn’t want to play. He opted for going out for the wrestling team.
“Jeremy, how was your summer?” Allison called out as he was entering his English class the first day of school.
“It was great, but I was ready to come back to school.”
“I see that you’re in Mrs. Cunningham’s English class?”
“Yes, are you?”
“No, I wanted her class, but I’m in Mrs. Hoffman’s class.”
“Cody is in Mrs. Hoffman’s class.”
“Really, what hour?”
“Great, so am I.” Allison’s smile indicated that she was very please at that bit of news. “I’ll see you later.” She almost ran to find Mrs. Hoffman’s classroom.
By the week’s end Jeremy was settled into a routine. After school, he would either workout or go for a horseback ride with Scott, Cody or sometimes both, and then do homework. Jeremy didn’t consider himself to be a great student, but he did manage to get good grades. His parents had insisted that he study each day and keep up his homework.
Wrestling practice was more fun that Jeremy expected. He was learning fast and was better than he expected. The coach said that he had potential, and that he had a chance of making the team. It would depend on how many of the football team went out for wrestling when football season was over. “You’re very strong and after you learn the right moves you could be good,” Coach Chambers said.
Life was good for Jeremy, but he was beginning to wish that he had a boyfriend. Maybe he was getting over Cody after all.