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sometimes blue
DrewI am a thirty something married gay boy living in Sydney, almost on top of the gay scene but not in it! Why Sometimes blue?, because I love blue, but also I am sometimes blue :)
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Saturday, December 22, 2007

I was reminded...

I was reminded today that being gay is still not OK in everyone's minds and hearts. Whilst I strive for the full recognition of same sex relationships people are still struggling with the very basic right of acceptance and tolerance from their very only families.

A friend of a friend from the country who has been living in Sydney this last year was told in no uncertain terms that he is not welcome back home this Christmas.

I was really horrified when I heard this and felt so sorry for him. Knowing that this very gentle soul is being pushed away from his family all because he had the fortune of being born gay.

He will be fine, he has friends around and will most definitely not be alone for Christmas. But this reminded me of something far more fundamental about being gay and friends and family.

Many many many years ago (and I mean that seriously many years ago), my very first boyfriend's flatmate told me that he and Micheal (my then boyfriend) were 'family'. Not family in the sense of being related by blood, but they were family in the sense of looking out for one another, dropping everything if the other needed them and just being there.

It was very common back in the eighties for gay people to describe their friends as families in this way. For many back then they had been thrown out of home, shunned by blood relatives, lost jobs, lost friends & lovers to HIV / AIDS and in return they created tight families of friends.

Both the boy and I are really very lucky that our families love us very much and share our lives with us. On Christmas Day we will spend the day with our families all together during the day and then at night we will see our 'other family'.

So this Christmas think about who your 'family' is and enjoy your families on many levels.



At Sat Dec 22, 06:39:00 PM EST, Blogger Margeaux said...

I love the fact that I can 'choose' my own family. My blood family don't have much to do with me and the ones I refer to as my family are there by choice, which makes the relationships mean more to me. I'll be celebrating with my family and now Rosie's family too so she doesn't miss out! Hope to see you soon xx

At Sun Dec 23, 12:38:00 AM EST, Blogger Sunshine said...

I think that goes beyond the situation where we are shunned by families because most of us would probably never have families like our straight friends and it makes sense to have our chosen families to go through life with. :)

At Sun Dec 23, 10:53:00 AM EST, Blogger Laurie said...

Narrow minded people tick me off.
Where does a family get off telling
their child they aren't welcome at
home because they are gay? OMG! I'm
so glad your friend has a wonderful
bunch of 'friend family'. His
family are the ones missing out on
being with him.

At Sun Dec 23, 12:16:00 PM EST, Blogger NarcissusAU said...

Hmmmm this hits close to home.... I came out to my family last month and for a while it was a little hit and miss as to whether I would indeed be welcome home for christmas....

Luckily my mother got over it...and Im heading home Christmas Eve....
I feel for all those people who can't make the same journey for whatever reason....

At Sun Dec 23, 12:26:00 PM EST, Blogger Superdrewby said...

Congrats on coming out!

it's a fucking huge but important step!

glad to hear that your mum is coming round...

At Sun Dec 23, 04:38:00 PM EST, Blogger NarcissusAU said...

Thanks mate,
It was a big step but it was time for honesty to win out.
But just to make sure, I followed the gay handbook on this one... Invited them all round to my Fab apartment, hosted them to a Fab dinner party and dropped the bomb over desert (my birthday cake, personally baked and utterly fab-u-lous)
How could they argue with that? ;-)


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