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sometimes blue
DrewI am a thirty something married gay boy living in Sydney, almost on top of the gay scene but not in it! Why Sometimes blue?, because I love blue, but also I am sometimes blue :)
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Monday, October 19, 2009

I am still alive thank you

I am very much alive, even if I have not posted in the last week and a half or there about.

My mother is back home after her stroke and is now resting, she has good days and hard days.

Whilst the effects of the stroke were minor in terms of physiology, any brain injury is serious and is a symptom of her aging process.

It's difficult addressing the very real mortality of anyone let alone your parents, but by the same token it also reminds you to not take anything or anyone for granted.

My mothers cognitive skills and her memory have become markedly lower in the last couple of months and it's distressing watching this up close but must be even harder for my father.

But on the up side of the aging process and forgetting, she will 'forget' she is forgetting and become more relaxed and less anxious in general.

For me though this is a very stressful time, and I have been reacting to this in a very predictable for me way.

Whilst my mental concentration is lower than normal and I have been finding it hard to concentrate on 'normal' work. I have been doing what any Cancerian does and 'Nesting'.

I have totally redone the office with new furniture and cleaner more streamlined fit-out and have been cleaning out draws and cupboards at home.

At home as well I have been tackling all those small physical DIY tasks that I have been meaning to do.

It's a normal psychological response to external influences that you can't really control, instead you do things to try and control your own physical surroundings.

At the moment it's just one day at a time and keeping to routines and getting stuff done.


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