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life at a private school

Chapter Twelve

After my revelation I was so impatient to see Tim and tell him about my dream and my decision, but I knew I would have to put up with a morning of being poked and prodded and being told off by my doctors.

After breakfast the doctor turned up and gave me the once over and told me what a silly boy I was and how I should look after myself. He went on and on for over half an hour, then he started asking about my mental health which I thought was unusual since he liked to keep totally away from my personal life on other visits. Finally he asked if everything was ok at home and at school, I just shrugged and said yeah and then he said well it must be your upcoming exams because you just seem so very stressed and strained at the moment.

I agreed with him, all the while my heart was pounding, even though I was prepared to tell the world that I was gay, I needed time to get used to the idea and time to finish school turn 18 and get out of home. As he was finishing his lecture my mother walked in and as soon as she saw me sitting up in bed looking far better than I had the night before her face lit up in a radiant smile of relief and happiness.

So Doctor how is he, she inquired, can he come home soon?

Oh, he's fine a little bit weak from the attack but there is no lasting damage, so he should be fine in a few days. He really should stay here until at least Thursday so we can monitor his blood sugar levels and make sure that there are no other underlying problems in there.

Thank You so much Doctor my mother gushed.

God how I hated it when my mother acted like the defenseless woman in front of people of importance just because our family did not have money. Well I for one couldn't give a flying stuff whether I had money or not!

I made small talk with my mum and she finally left after making sure that I had had enough of the local gossip on the neighbors and the family, I couldn't take much more and I was very glad when she left. I had so much to think about and I was so impatient to talk to Tim about it all and start planning the rest of our lives.

The good part of mum being here was that she had brought me some things from home, and the thing that I most wanted was some clean CK boxers. I was sick of the horrible hospital gown and as soon as she left I took the gown off and slipped into a pair of white clean tight white Calvin Klein boxers. It still sent tingles through my body as the material rubbed against my cock.

I had never worn anything to bed so I had no pajamas and I couldn't be bothered putting a shirt or T shirt on in the hospital. A nurse came in to check my pulse and other bits and pieces, she looked at me lying on the bed in only boxers and shook her head in a joking fashion. You'll be driving the girls crazy you will being like that she said in an Irish accent, then she said oh wait a moment its that lovely young dark headed boy you have your eye on isn't it." I must have looked a bit shocked because she patted my hand and said , It's allright, don't worry we won't let on to your parents, we all heard them last night".

I breathed a sigh of relief as she busied herself writing up my chart. I can see it in your eyes and I saw it in his eyes last night, don't every let go of each other, what you have is incredibly special, don't let go. I just smiled and let my heart soar into the air as I heard this and nodded my head.

At about 11am Cass turned up with a huge bunch of flowers and a couple of books that she suggested Tim and I should read. I picked one up and read the cover, "Coming Out, in ten easy steps and staying sane". I looked at here and laughed nervously, um thanks Cass, I can really leave that lying around for my parents or sisters to find. That would be fun to explain.

Oh don't be so silly Josh, you just have to be creative about where you hide it. So what happened? Tim came to me this morning all upset about you, he thinks that you aren't coping very well with the whole relationship thing, I think there's something more, I have some time, I don't have to be back at school till after lunch, so tell me everything.

I gave her a bashful smile and started to tell her about the wonderful weekend we had had together away from everyone who knew us and all the fear of being found out. Cass sat there listening to me rabbit on and on and as I talked my smile grew larger and larger and so did hers. Cass mentioned that she had also seen Nick and had a chat with him in the past few weeks about some of the same sort of issues that Dan was going through about fear of coming out and fear of being found out at school. I thought about that for a moment and nodded, I knew that Dan was even more firmly in the closet than any of us. It was going to be a long road forward for Nick and Dan to try and work out that problem.

At that moment the door burst open and Sam, waltzed in all her finest, which in her case involved flares and shirt that looked as though it should have been retired in the 70's, it was sort of lime green with swirls. She had a huge box in her hand and out of it she pulled a discman and speakers which she plonked down on my bedside table and collapsed in a dramatic heap onto a chair.

I burst out laughing at her as Cass's eyes widened at the spectacle of Sam, I loved the wacky girl so much she really was a fabulous friend just a little bit over the top sometimes. I was in hysterics watching the expression on Cass's face as Sam reclined in the chair and turned on the funkiest version of Jacky I had ever heard.

Um Cass, Same, Sam Cass I breathlessly laughed trying my hardest to introduce them to each other, Sam is my best friend and Cass is my English Teacher. Cass had her mouth slightly open still in shock or amazement so I thought I should explain some more, um Sam has lived next door since I was a Kid we grew up together and she was the first person that knew I was gay…

Aah Cass said, I understand everything now, she's too blame, at that moment Sam finally said something after making such a dramatic entrance without a word. Oh God, darling to blame for this one's rather wonderful choice of sexuality. He was always rather fabulous, and far too special to be one of those horrible little straight boys…..

At this Cass burst out laughing, and we all dissolved into rapturous laughter trading insults with each other. Gee I wish I'd had a teacher like you when I was at school Sam said looking at Cass, are you like this with all your students or just the poofters?

No just the special ones she said looking at me, smiling with her dancing eyes.

The door burst open and the a group of rowdy boys headed by Tim almost spilled out and fell onto the bed. Tim had brought Nick and Dan with him to see me and I think because he also knew that I would like lots of people to come and see me. Nick and Dan stopped for a moment when they saw Sam because they had never met her before but they went straight up to Cass and gave her a peck on the cheek. Tim had a greet big cheeky grin on his face and I knew that he was up to something. He had his hands behind his back and the he turned around with a small present in white paper with a small red bow.

I had no idea what was in the package and it was obvious that no one else in room knew what was in it either. He gently kissed me on the lips and handed me the small package, I was reluctant to let him go and I tried to keep his lips close to mine. I took the package and ripped off the bow and paper to reveal a small black box, opening it I found a funky watch with a text message face. Tim grinned and pressed one of the buttons and a small tinny voice said, "I love you…….I love you."

The entire room fell about laughing and carrying on and I could feel my face going bright red. Tim came and sat down on the bed with me and slowly ran his fingers along my exposed arm sending little chills up my arm. I leaned up and passionately kissed Tim on the lips totally oblivious to the fact that the others were there. We were interrupted by someone clearing their mouth, we broke the kiss and I looked up and giggled nervously at everyone standing around the room.

I introduced Dan and Nick to Sam, Sam immediately threw her arms around them and drawled how fabulous it was to finally meet them. Nick thought she was hilarious, but Dan being a lot more sensitive was quite a bit more reserved, frightened by her he visibly stiffened and pulled away. I saw this and was suprised but not too much because I had always known Dan to be so very quiet and shy even if he was very popular at school.

I slipped the watch on my wrist and subconsciously rubbed my finger over it while leaning against Tim on my bed. Sam changed the music on the stereo filling the room with the soft mellow tones of the Carpenters. I burst out laughing at Sam as she slowly threw herself around the room in exaggerated movements and sashayed from Nick, to Dan and then descended dramatically onto my bed.

I wanted to tell Tim all about the things I had worked out overnight, but now was not the time with all of the people in the room. Cass had started to talk to Sam about her girlfriend and what was going in their respective lives. Sam was relating the last few weeks of her previous relationship with a boy who thought he was James Dean re incarnated, poor boy he looked more like a toad than a prince.

Nick and Dan continued to look on from a chair that they were sharing and just held each other. I reached over and whispered in Tim's ear that I wanted to talk to him later about something really important. As I finished whispering I let my tongue snake out and lick the edge of his ear which made Tim shudder involuntarily and moan.

Down boy, down boy there's time for that later, I whispered giggling and blowing into his slightly damp ear. Tim had to move as his excitement was starting to become a little bit evident and uncomfortable, I on the other hand was covered by the hospital blanket and my little or not so little growing problem was not seen or known by anyone except me!

After what seemed like an eternity the others finally started to drift off back to school which left Tim and I together alone. I was absently stroking the watch Tim had given me listening to the strong beating of Tim's heart as I lay against him. "So what did you want to talk about little one", Tim asked as he nibbled on my ear.

"Well I have decided that I want to spend all my time with you, regardless of what my parents say, I love you and want to spend as much time with you as possible", I paused for breath because I knew that even though Tim loved me and we needed to be together as much as possible, what I was going to say next was really going to have an effect.

"I want us to move in together when we have finished school, I love you so much and my parents, and……and….."I started to cry even though I knew what I wanted was the best thing, I was having a lot of trouble saying it and more importantly worried about the reaction I was going to get from Tim.

I felt Tim's body stiffen against me and a small sharp intake of breath came from his mouth. He didn't say a word and I could feel every muscle in his body harden against me as his body shook in what I couldn't tell was shock horror or hopefully unbridled passion!

"Say something, please?" I begged as his grip on me became unbearable and I had to wriggle to get more comfortable.

"Please…..Please….you do love me don't you Tim…Tim, please say something to me" tears rolled down my cheeks and my once tranquil and excited mood had turned into one of real worry and fear.

Tim got up from the bed and looked at with enormous fear in his eyes and I realised that I had really overstepped the mark by laying on the entire idea all at once. And I suppose that a hospital was not the place to do it anyway.

"I'm not , um I'm not ready for that sort of um, oh um um you know I'm not um, um oh Josh, Um I gotta go I'll come by later I promise" Tim brushed my lips with his an almost ran out of the room.

I was left with wet cheeks from my tears with my entire heart breaking in two. The walls started to close in around me and the room started to go dark and cold. The tears started to flow again and my head fell further back into the pillow. I could feel my life ending and all the plans I had made were being pulled up and thrown around all over again. I could still hear Tim's footsteps as he walked down the hospital corridor and to an uncertain future with myself.


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