Shedding people

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Screen Shot 2012-01-10 at 1.13.18 PM.pngAs I get older I have become less and less tolerant.

Or as the boy likes to call me I’m a grumpy old man LOL!

One of the most obvious examples of this is the shedding of people who through the circumstance you were in you thought of them as “friends”.

I used to have hundreds of “friends”,, people who I could go out clubbing with, spend lazy afternoons drinking and eating or weekend long recovery parties.

But now in my 40’s I have a very small group of FRIENDS, and only truly a couple who are in the inner circle.

There have been some spectacular falling outs with people in my lifetime none like one dearly departed friend Leon who we had a tumultuous on again and off again friendship spanning two decades.  Unfortunately I never did get to say goodbye to him or reconnect as he passed away very suddenly two years ago this September.

But other with other friends we seem to simply have drifted apart for one reason or another.  Many of the people we used to hang round with in the last decade  and a half have quietly filtered out of our lives as we socialise less in pubs and clubs and no longer throw extravagant parties.

Sure we see each other’s posts and photos on Facebook and there may be the occasional Like or message.  But there is no real interest or sense of urgency to reconnect with these people.

Some people we just grow away from as they pursue their careers or lives in very different pathways, and through the tyranny of distance and circumstance we just don’t connect anymore.

Whilst some seem to be stuck in a time warp of their mid twenties and are intent on doing the same things, the same clubbing, the same drugs and the same disasters week after week after week.

A couple of friends are in the grips of multi-year struggles with drugs and until they hit rock bottom and finally admit they have a problem I can’t be involved with their paranoia, bullshit and lies.

These people I have actively pushed out of my life, I don’t need drama in my life I have enough stress managing a business and getting on with the day to day realities of life.  You can’t own

Some other people I have very painfully extracted from my life, simply put their values and beliefs are so anathema to my views that I have had to cut them off.

The bottom line is as we get older our true friends stay with us,  but acquaintances and hangers on  fall by the wayside.

This doesn’t mean I’m not open to making new friends, it just takes a lot longer to go from someone I’ve met to someone who I call a friend to a member of the friendship inner circle.

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